Feels Good

It feels good to do something for someone else, even if you don't know that someone. Yesterday I donated a sample of breast tissue for the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Tissue Bank at the IU Simon Cancer Center. It was quick, easy, and fairly painless, thanks to the 50 or so volunteers they had at our local Cancer Center. I had heard about the event from a friend, and because I will do anything for a t-shirt, (besides the fact that my mom, aunt, and best friend have all had breast cancer) I signed up. They said the appointment would take one hour, and they were right on the mark. I walked in, signed a consent form, provided a medical history, gave a little blood, and before long, I was with a doctor and an assistant, ready to give the sample. The doctor numbed the area (I felt a little stick and that was it), and took 3 samples from the same area. That was it! The assistant applied pressure to the area for a few minutes, put some gauze on the little, tiny cut, gave me an ice pack, and I was free to go. I got a goody bag, a free smoothie, and could have waited and had a massage, but by then I was feeling a little guilty about all the thanks I was getting for doing such an easy thing.
The Tissue Bank is asking for these donations of breast tissue, so they can establish a bank of healthy tissue to compare against specimens from women with breast cancer for research purposes. For me, I felt like I was doing a little to help some smart people who are studying a horrible disease.
I didn't write this as a "Yay Me" post--I wrote it to demystify the process. It's not a painful procedure, and you'll feel good about it afterwards. My hope is that if you hear about an event like this in your area, you'll sign up to donate. Please.

Karen and Gale go to DC

We knew our trip was off to a good start when, as we were getting off the plane, our flight attendant winked at us and said, "I chase the rainbow too". Made me feel like I was part of a secret club that watched out for each other; I felt like DC was going to be a good place to be.
The flight into DC was prettier than I thought it would be; I thought planes were prohibited from flying over the Capitol Building/White House area. But, as luck would have it, we were sitting on the left side of the airplane as we came into Reagan Airport, and, as our flight attendant pointed out, "The people on the left side of the airplane can see the Capitol and the White House. The people on the right? Sorry." We were also given a fabulous view of the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson memorial, the Kennedy Center, and the Watergate building.
Within 30 minutes, we were walking toward the Capitol Building--the photo above is the first glimpse of that magnificent building.



It's a fabulous sight any time of the day, but I was partial to it at night, with the white facade gleaming through the dark.



There were a large number of security people on the grounds every night (you can see three of them standing on the steps in the photo above), so we felt quite safe walking through the area any time. I think we saw Nancy Pelosi's car the first night--what other car would be parked in a primo spot, next to the Capitol building, with a Stanford sticker in the window? That's my story anyway, and I'm sticking to it; besides, it's the closest we came to a celebrity all week. Unless, of course, if you want to count these guys:
















I don't think I'll count them as celebrities--one has to stand on a box, for goodness sakes! I was really, really, really hoping Rachel would be broadcasting from Washington at some point during the week, but sigh........I digress.

While walking around that first night, we found, on the Capitol grounds, a little garden area that can only be described as grotto-esque. It was made of red brick, and inside was a fountain, surrounded by drinking fountains, surrounded by benches. You have to enter through wrought iron gates to reach this little oasis--I'm sure it gets a lot of use in the summer, as it seems like a refreshing place to stop. I have since "Goggled" this little oasis, and have found it's called Summer House.
On the way back to our hotel, we found the building where Karen would be spending much of her time in Washington--it houses all the big names in broadcast journalism (in this case, NBC, FOX, and C-Span). We finished our first night at the Dubliner, which is comparable to our local Irish pub--the Smithwicks and the Shepard's Pie were spot-on.
The morning of Halloween found us on a bus tour of our nation's capital. I highly recommend the "jump on, jump off" variety--we were able to use our tour for two days as taxi, bus, and Metro all in one, and were able to see almost everything we wanted to.



First stop was the National Cathedral--I'd forgotten that it's built high on a hill, and you can see it from all over Washington.








This window contains a moon rock at its' center, as a kindly volunteer explained to me.





This photo of the Rose Window does not do it justice.








It's easy to overlook the small details when looking at such an overwhelmingly beautiful building, but I'm glad the builders took the time to put them in. Can you imagine being the sculptor of the highest point of the cathedral--knowing your work will not be seen up close by anyone, but knowing it's important to the overall artistry of the building?




From the Cathedral, our next stop was the Lincoln Memorial, Vietnam Memorial, and the Korean War Memorial--all within walking distance of each other, and each equally inspiring in its' own way. During our time in DC, I was struck by how many languages were being spoken in one place--at one stop, I counted at least 5 different ones in a space of a few seconds. Anyway, since a picture is worth a thousand words, here you go:












We then had to cut short our bus tour to get to our scheduled tour of the Capitol Building. I highly recommend, if you are planning a trip to DC, you read the new Dan Brown book, The Lost Symbol, first. He goes into great detail about the symbolism "hidden" in many of our national buildings, and it's great to then see them in detail. For instance, from the moment I entered the new Visitor's Center at the Capitol, I had things to look for.


I looked for the Lady Liberty statue in the entrance to the Visitor's Center--it's an exact replica of the Lady Liberty that is at the very top of the Capitol.
See?



Then it was on to the official tour, and the Rotunda--I couldn't wait to tell Karen what was found at the center of the Rotunda. But, thanks to Dan Brown, I had knowledge of what I was looking at when I looked up, and around, the Rotunda.



The corn on the pillars that welcomed those rural representatives to Washington.


The way those crazy architects and Masonic brothers saw Washington and other Founders. I also noticed some gay recruiting going on in this scene--see that sinister rainbow?!!




And I never knew they honored the Wright brothers in the Rotunda, did you?


But all in all, we were not impressed with the official tour of the Capitol--we had been spoiled by the C-Span documentary on the Capitol, and although it was great to see Statuary Hall in person, it would have been nice to see the Senate and House chambers as well. I mean, come on--the tour lasted all of 30 minutes (including a 10 minute film), and we weren't even allowed to see the House or the Senate? It was the weekend--we wouldn't have disturbed anything.
It was also Halloween, so we were eager to get out to Dupont Circle to see the costumes--we were told that Georgetown would be good for seeing clever costumes, but that Dupont Circle would be good too, and maybe not as crowded with drunken college kids. I've learned that it's always good to ask the locals where the good restaurants are, so as soon as we arrived, we went to a bookstore and asked. We were directed to Thaiphoon, and it was a great recommendation. I loved that our server was dressed in drag and our waitress was a dominatrix--it got our evening off to a good start. The food was great too.





We ordered a Thai beer, which was nice, but then Karen ordered a Thai iced tea--it was beautiful!








Karen was sad when the colors ran together, but you gotta admit that the drink was still colorful. And tasted good too.






After dinner, it was time to look for some costumes. And again, a picture is worth a thousand words.










The maid in the "V" mask was part of a group of protesters outside the founding Church of Scientology. The protesters were having a great time, getting their points across to bystanders, AND, generally making the Scientologists very, very uncomfortable.
We browsed in a few shops, bought some souvenirs, and then had dessert. Which was just as fabulous as dinner. Take a look at these thousand words:


I was just like a kid in a....well...cupcake store!

We'd had enough food, and "culture", so our next stop of the evening was Phase 1, the oldest lesbian bar in the country. We were unsure how long it would take to find, so we allowed some extra travel time, and arrived at the bar at 9:25. It was dead. We were customers # 3 and #4. But at 10 on the dot, the doors flew open and the bedecked dykes poured in. My favorite costumes of the evening were the Catholic nun and schoolgirl, but Karen liked the woman in the shower the best--she had taken a shower curtain on a rod, added some fake plumbing, and really looked like she was showering. We had a great time women-watching, but our favorite trio of the evening, by far, were the elderly couple and their friend who wandered in. These people could have been anyone's parents or grandparents, but they seemed right at home in the bar. They ordered beers, watched the crowd for a while, seemed to enjoy the music, and then they were gone. Odd, but cool.
We decided to walk back to the hotel--it was late, but we were hoping to see some more costumes, and a little more of the city. It was during this ramble that we came upon the scariest sight of the night--THE C Street House!!! Of course, we HAD to take photos:



We were trying to look cool, but knowing who lives there sure gave me the creeps!! Those crazy fundamentalist Congressmen would scare any liberal to death.

And Now, A Couple of "Holy Mackerel" Stories

Thanks to Rachel Maddow for the tag line.
The first story concerns our newest senator, Al Franken from Minnesota. Senator Franken offered his first amendment to a bill. His amendment would withhold government contracts from those companies that prohibit their employees who are raped, sexually harrassed, or discriminated against from taking their cases to court. Seems that companies like Haliburton make their employees sign a form that states that if they are raped, sexually harassed, or discriminated against while on the job, they will not report this to legal authorities.
HUH??? Well this is a no-brainer, Senator Franken! I'm guessing you got a vote of 98-0 on this one, right? Ummm.....apparently the Republicans are still in their toddler phase, where they're saying, "NO" and putting out their bottom lip at anything proposed by a Democrat. 30, yes 30 voted against this amendment. Thank goodness Senator Lugar is too old to play those childish games when the well-being of humans is on the line.
The second story comes from the great state of Louisiana, where Justice of the Peace Keith Bardwell refused to sign the marriage license of Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay. What had they done that was so heinous? Was Ms. Humphrey a convicted drug dealer? Was Mr. McKay a child molester? Nope. They were an interracial couple! Yes, one was white and the other black, and Bardwell feared for the children they might have. Why, if these two were allowed to marry, and then they had children, why one of those children might just grow up to....to....be President of the United States!! The horror!!!!

Randomness

Some days I feel like Andy Rooney; I have a lot of different thoughts in my head, but no two are similar enough for even a segue-way. I guess they all could fall under the category of "I Saw" or "I Heard"...

• A few days ago, I was standing in line at the Post Office, and I noticed the young woman at the counter. Actually, I noticed the back of her head. I've never had the experience of looking at someones' hair, and feeling very sad, but it happened at that moment. This woman had beautiful, wavy hair, but it was pulled back and hastily shoved into a barrette. The barrette was slightly askew, and hair was poking out of it in every direction. It's almost as if the woman had said, "I can't take any more stress in my life! I've got this...and this...and this...to do today, and I really can't handle having to deal with my hair!!". I just felt so sorry for what must be going on in that head; I wanted to pat her on the back and tell her that she was going to be OK--her hair looked like it needed for her to have that kind of pep talk. I did look at the rest of the back of the woman, and she appeared to be a painfully thin professional woman--matching the hair, and making me feel even more sad for her. It was a very odd moment indeed.
• I was recently listening to NPR, and heard an interview with Steve Schneck of Catholic University of America. He was part of a discussion about proposed health care reform. I was not surprised to hear he was against any funding of abortions in the new health care plan, but I was a bit taken aback when he said he was against funding birth control as well. I know his opinion was in keeping with the teachings of the Catholic Church, but really? Don't fund birth control of any kind? Does the Catholic Church care so very little for women? Has he truly considered what happens when women are not allowed to use birth control? He and the Catholic Church may be pro-life, but what happens when human life is no longer sustainable on this planet because there are just too many of us?
  
• I watched a clip of a recent Glenn Beck show, where he started to cry when speaking about "simpler times" in America; he was certain his audience would "go back there in a second". You remember those times, don't you? As Beck described it, it was a time in America when "We used to be united on some basic things." He's a little younger than me, so he can't be talking about the 1950's. My guess is his earliest memories would be 1966 or 1967. The March on Selma was in 1965, Stonewall was in 1969, the Women's Liberation Movement really got going in the early 1970's, Roe v Wade didn't happen until 1973, and Harvard didn't admit women until 1977, so he must have been nostalgically recalling his early years, when Negroes still knew their place, Homosexuals were not spoken of, and all those "uppity women" were kept busy having baby after baby, not thinking that they too could be vital members of the workforce. Oh yes, those glorious "old days", when 99.7% of our leaders were white men, all the "talking heads" on television were white men, when we could still watch commercials for cigarettes on television, when seat belts were a new invention, when we didn't feel sorry about what we did to the "Indians" in this country because all we saw were television shows where cowboys were the real heroes, and when women could be sexually harassed in the workplace because why on earth would they be there anyway? Of course--that America--the one that existed before those damn hippies came along and ruined it for everyone. I could go on and on, but clearly I didn't live in the same "simpler times" that Glenn Beck did.
  

Fortunate Friday

Today has been a good day so far. It's the little things that make me realize life is good:
1) I got to sleep in this morning (OK, I got up twice to let the dog out, but I was able to go back to sleep both times). I dreamt about my aunties, which always makes me laugh. Sure, I have the day off today because I work tomorrow, but hey--that means I have a job to go to.
2) The day is rainy and grey, but it was nice to know the author of the local newspapers' Forecast felt the same way: "Overcast and chilly. Might rain too. Ugh." Misery loves company.
3) Sela Ward was on "The View" this morning, making it doubly good. "The View" is one of my guilty pleasures--I watch when I am home at 11 on a weekday. I've loved Sela Ward since she was on "Sisters". I must admit, until this morning, I had never noticed her slight southern accent. Nice addition.
4) I talked to my mom, and she's doing pretty well. The doctor thinks the radiation is shrinking the tumor, and my mom sounds stronger (and more like herself) every time I talk to her.
5) I have leftover Arni's Junior Salad for lunch! Went out to Arni's after seeing "Capitalism: A Love Story" last night, and it was the perfect end to a great evening with Big N.
6) I have bowling to look forward to tonight. I really love Fridays with my friends.
7) Lastly, I know that at the end of the day, I will not have to climb into bed alone. Karen will be back tonight from her trip to Colorado. It's been a long week, and I've really missed her.

Today is "National Coming Out" Day

Today is "National Coming Out" Day. There was a huge march in Washington, D.C., and from what I've seen, it was a beautiful day in our nation's capital. I watched some of the speeches on C-Span, and the crowd shots were very colorful--lots of rainbow flags, and tons of signs and banners. The speeches were passionate, and the message that was repeated over and over again was this: "It's time NOW. Time for equality for every citizen in this country. It's up to every one of us to work for equality at every level--city, state, national. Yes, it's up to us." I get goosebumps just typing that--the speakers were just so passionate, and their voices are still resonating with me. Carrying those thoughts with me to the computer, I have a message for my straight allies.
We need your help.
We need you to speak out for us, to confront the bigotry when you encounter it, and to be supportive of us and our relationships. When you hear how perverted "those people" are, when you hear that "those gays just want special rights", and when you hear that "marriage is only between a man and a woman", I do want you to be confrontational. Kill them with kindness, but ask your friend to explain to you how THEIR marriage will be undermined by allowing gays to marry. Ask them what "special rights" the gays are asking for: the right to be with a loved one when they die? The right to care for a loved one if they're sick? The right to serve their country in the military? The right to work at a job without fear of being fired? The right to be themselves without someone hurting or killing them for that? The right to live the same life as anyone else in the United States?
Fill the silence you will undoubtedly encounter with some facts. Like this one: in the vast majority of states, you can still be fired for being gay. Or, talk about

Hate Crime Laws: Twenty-Nine states and the District of Columbia have hate crime laws that protect people based on sexual orientation. Of these, only seven and DC include protections based on gender identity or expression. The map below shows Transgender Inclusive Hate Crime Laws by state.

Transgender Inclusive Hate Crime Laws Blue = Hate Crimes Laws Include Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity: HI, CA, CT, NM, MO, MN, PA, VT, DC Red = Hate Crimes Laws Include Just Sexual Orientation Grey = No Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity Hate Crimes Laws Or remind them that over 13,000 men and women have been dismissed from the military since 1993, when the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law went into effect. This is particularly ludicrous at a time when our nation is fighting two wars, and our military is being stretched to the limit. These are people who want to serve our country, who believe the United States is worth fighting and dying for, even when this same country refuses to allow them to be themselves. Or tell your friends, families, co-workers that you know gay people. Tell them about what you know about our lives, our families, our relationships. Personalize "gay" for them. I promise to do the same. Starting now. This is my story. Most of you know that for over 40 years, I thought I was straight. I was married for 23 years, and have two fantastic children. I don't regret being married, and I will tell you quite truthfully that I did not know I was a lesbian until after my divorce. I did have crushes on other girls when I was growing up, but didn't give it much thought, and if asked, I would have said it was nothing--just a phase maybe. I knew I was supposed to grow up, get married, and have kids. Anything else was not an option. After my divorce, I did a lot of thinking. I had a chance to think about me--who I was, what I wanted to do with my life, what kind of person I might want to be with. I thought about my life so far, when I was happiest, and who I liked to spend time with. I felt free to think for the first time since I was a teenager, and certain people, certain situations, certain feelings kept jumping out at me. It was scary and yet liberating. It's no accident that I got to know Karen--mutual friends asked her to come for a visit, and we were able to spend some time together. I fell in love with her--truly, madly, deeply--but also came to the conclusion that I was, without a doubt, gay. There's no other way to describe it; I just felt "right" in my body for the first time ever. Nobody can convince me that I am anything else but a lesbian--no religious leader, no politician, no medical person, no family member, no talk show host--nobody. I vowed never to "live in the closet"; I have always been a pretty open person, and I "am who I am". The first few months of our relationship, I had to lie, and I hated it, hated the burden and the pressure. I am truly blessed to have family and friends who have supported my decision and who still unconditionally love me. I know I'm fortunate--I have heard too many stories of people who are gay and who are abandoned by those they love, who lose children and jobs and homes because of who they are. It's not only tragic, but it's stupid. Think about who YOU have fallen in love with; does what gender they are make you love them any differently? It's chemistry, pure and simple. Here's where it gets frustrating for me. As a straight person, I took for granted all those rights and privileges I had. The two of us went and got a marriage license. The marriage was recognized in all 50 states, and in every country we visited. I was automatically on his health insurance plan, we got auto insurance, rented an apartment in lower rent married student housing, and had children who have birth certificates with both of our names on them--no questions asked. If he had been in the military, I would have lived in subsidized housing, and been entitled to certain benefits as a military spouse. Wherever we went, I was introduced as his spouse, and he could talk about me to colleagues, and display photos of his family on his desk. I never, ever once considered how another person would react if I talked about my male boyfriend or spouse. I cannot imagine loving anyone else the way I love Karen. Because of her and the relationship we have, I am happier than I have ever been. I am blissfully (and some would say, sappily) aware of how she makes me feel. She makes me a better person. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I want to be married to her. My church will recognize our union, but my state and my country will not. We could go through the motions, and maybe we will, but it will be a ceremony with no legal impact--we will have none of those rights I took for granted when I got married the first time. If I get sick, Karen will not be allowed to make decisions for me, will not be allowed to visit me, unless I have legal documents drawn up which specifically give her those rights. We have separate health insurance policies, and every time I go to a doctor, I must tell them I am gay and that Karen is my partner. They have every right to ignore that and exclude her from medical information. We do not own a home together. We do not have auto insurance together--our separate policies cost much more than a joint policy would. We do not have survivor-ship rights to Social Security, and if one of us leaves something to the other in our will, the survivor will pay hefty taxes. We are fortunate that our places of employment accept our relationship, and I even have photos of her on my desk. For the most part, I can speak openly about our relationship at work, but a couple of co-workers do not know, and I censure myself when I speak to them. I do try to live as openly as possible, but am very cautious when meeting people at my health club, and various organizations I belong to. I don't touch Karen much in public, and there are certain places in town where any physical display of affection would be dangerous; we would be subject to verbal abuse at the very least. Can you imagine? Someone wanting to hurt you because of who you loved? Having to hide who you are because certain segments of society will react so negatively? Gay kids and adults kill themselves every day because of who they are, who they love. It's time to stand up and say, "Enough is enough." Because, as Lt. Daniel Choi said today, "Love is worth it."

Conservatives Are STILL Such a Class Act

This is a clip from a meeting of Americans for Prosperity (one of the main organizers of the Tea Party protests). I guess they're for prosperity...and for America...only if it's Republican America (ignoring the fact, of course, that Bush helped launch the Chicago bid at the White House).