And Now, A Couple of "Holy Mackerel" Stories

Thanks to Rachel Maddow for the tag line.
The first story concerns our newest senator, Al Franken from Minnesota. Senator Franken offered his first amendment to a bill. His amendment would withhold government contracts from those companies that prohibit their employees who are raped, sexually harrassed, or discriminated against from taking their cases to court. Seems that companies like Haliburton make their employees sign a form that states that if they are raped, sexually harassed, or discriminated against while on the job, they will not report this to legal authorities.
HUH??? Well this is a no-brainer, Senator Franken! I'm guessing you got a vote of 98-0 on this one, right? Ummm.....apparently the Republicans are still in their toddler phase, where they're saying, "NO" and putting out their bottom lip at anything proposed by a Democrat. 30, yes 30 voted against this amendment. Thank goodness Senator Lugar is too old to play those childish games when the well-being of humans is on the line.
The second story comes from the great state of Louisiana, where Justice of the Peace Keith Bardwell refused to sign the marriage license of Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay. What had they done that was so heinous? Was Ms. Humphrey a convicted drug dealer? Was Mr. McKay a child molester? Nope. They were an interracial couple! Yes, one was white and the other black, and Bardwell feared for the children they might have. Why, if these two were allowed to marry, and then they had children, why one of those children might just grow up to....to....be President of the United States!! The horror!!!!

Randomness

Some days I feel like Andy Rooney; I have a lot of different thoughts in my head, but no two are similar enough for even a segue-way. I guess they all could fall under the category of "I Saw" or "I Heard"...

• A few days ago, I was standing in line at the Post Office, and I noticed the young woman at the counter. Actually, I noticed the back of her head. I've never had the experience of looking at someones' hair, and feeling very sad, but it happened at that moment. This woman had beautiful, wavy hair, but it was pulled back and hastily shoved into a barrette. The barrette was slightly askew, and hair was poking out of it in every direction. It's almost as if the woman had said, "I can't take any more stress in my life! I've got this...and this...and this...to do today, and I really can't handle having to deal with my hair!!". I just felt so sorry for what must be going on in that head; I wanted to pat her on the back and tell her that she was going to be OK--her hair looked like it needed for her to have that kind of pep talk. I did look at the rest of the back of the woman, and she appeared to be a painfully thin professional woman--matching the hair, and making me feel even more sad for her. It was a very odd moment indeed.
• I was recently listening to NPR, and heard an interview with Steve Schneck of Catholic University of America. He was part of a discussion about proposed health care reform. I was not surprised to hear he was against any funding of abortions in the new health care plan, but I was a bit taken aback when he said he was against funding birth control as well. I know his opinion was in keeping with the teachings of the Catholic Church, but really? Don't fund birth control of any kind? Does the Catholic Church care so very little for women? Has he truly considered what happens when women are not allowed to use birth control? He and the Catholic Church may be pro-life, but what happens when human life is no longer sustainable on this planet because there are just too many of us?
  
• I watched a clip of a recent Glenn Beck show, where he started to cry when speaking about "simpler times" in America; he was certain his audience would "go back there in a second". You remember those times, don't you? As Beck described it, it was a time in America when "We used to be united on some basic things." He's a little younger than me, so he can't be talking about the 1950's. My guess is his earliest memories would be 1966 or 1967. The March on Selma was in 1965, Stonewall was in 1969, the Women's Liberation Movement really got going in the early 1970's, Roe v Wade didn't happen until 1973, and Harvard didn't admit women until 1977, so he must have been nostalgically recalling his early years, when Negroes still knew their place, Homosexuals were not spoken of, and all those "uppity women" were kept busy having baby after baby, not thinking that they too could be vital members of the workforce. Oh yes, those glorious "old days", when 99.7% of our leaders were white men, all the "talking heads" on television were white men, when we could still watch commercials for cigarettes on television, when seat belts were a new invention, when we didn't feel sorry about what we did to the "Indians" in this country because all we saw were television shows where cowboys were the real heroes, and when women could be sexually harassed in the workplace because why on earth would they be there anyway? Of course--that America--the one that existed before those damn hippies came along and ruined it for everyone. I could go on and on, but clearly I didn't live in the same "simpler times" that Glenn Beck did.
  

Fortunate Friday

Today has been a good day so far. It's the little things that make me realize life is good:
1) I got to sleep in this morning (OK, I got up twice to let the dog out, but I was able to go back to sleep both times). I dreamt about my aunties, which always makes me laugh. Sure, I have the day off today because I work tomorrow, but hey--that means I have a job to go to.
2) The day is rainy and grey, but it was nice to know the author of the local newspapers' Forecast felt the same way: "Overcast and chilly. Might rain too. Ugh." Misery loves company.
3) Sela Ward was on "The View" this morning, making it doubly good. "The View" is one of my guilty pleasures--I watch when I am home at 11 on a weekday. I've loved Sela Ward since she was on "Sisters". I must admit, until this morning, I had never noticed her slight southern accent. Nice addition.
4) I talked to my mom, and she's doing pretty well. The doctor thinks the radiation is shrinking the tumor, and my mom sounds stronger (and more like herself) every time I talk to her.
5) I have leftover Arni's Junior Salad for lunch! Went out to Arni's after seeing "Capitalism: A Love Story" last night, and it was the perfect end to a great evening with Big N.
6) I have bowling to look forward to tonight. I really love Fridays with my friends.
7) Lastly, I know that at the end of the day, I will not have to climb into bed alone. Karen will be back tonight from her trip to Colorado. It's been a long week, and I've really missed her.

Today is "National Coming Out" Day

Today is "National Coming Out" Day. There was a huge march in Washington, D.C., and from what I've seen, it was a beautiful day in our nation's capital. I watched some of the speeches on C-Span, and the crowd shots were very colorful--lots of rainbow flags, and tons of signs and banners. The speeches were passionate, and the message that was repeated over and over again was this: "It's time NOW. Time for equality for every citizen in this country. It's up to every one of us to work for equality at every level--city, state, national. Yes, it's up to us." I get goosebumps just typing that--the speakers were just so passionate, and their voices are still resonating with me. Carrying those thoughts with me to the computer, I have a message for my straight allies.
We need your help.
We need you to speak out for us, to confront the bigotry when you encounter it, and to be supportive of us and our relationships. When you hear how perverted "those people" are, when you hear that "those gays just want special rights", and when you hear that "marriage is only between a man and a woman", I do want you to be confrontational. Kill them with kindness, but ask your friend to explain to you how THEIR marriage will be undermined by allowing gays to marry. Ask them what "special rights" the gays are asking for: the right to be with a loved one when they die? The right to care for a loved one if they're sick? The right to serve their country in the military? The right to work at a job without fear of being fired? The right to be themselves without someone hurting or killing them for that? The right to live the same life as anyone else in the United States?
Fill the silence you will undoubtedly encounter with some facts. Like this one: in the vast majority of states, you can still be fired for being gay. Or, talk about

Hate Crime Laws: Twenty-Nine states and the District of Columbia have hate crime laws that protect people based on sexual orientation. Of these, only seven and DC include protections based on gender identity or expression. The map below shows Transgender Inclusive Hate Crime Laws by state.

Transgender Inclusive Hate Crime Laws Blue = Hate Crimes Laws Include Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity: HI, CA, CT, NM, MO, MN, PA, VT, DC Red = Hate Crimes Laws Include Just Sexual Orientation Grey = No Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity Hate Crimes Laws Or remind them that over 13,000 men and women have been dismissed from the military since 1993, when the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law went into effect. This is particularly ludicrous at a time when our nation is fighting two wars, and our military is being stretched to the limit. These are people who want to serve our country, who believe the United States is worth fighting and dying for, even when this same country refuses to allow them to be themselves. Or tell your friends, families, co-workers that you know gay people. Tell them about what you know about our lives, our families, our relationships. Personalize "gay" for them. I promise to do the same. Starting now. This is my story. Most of you know that for over 40 years, I thought I was straight. I was married for 23 years, and have two fantastic children. I don't regret being married, and I will tell you quite truthfully that I did not know I was a lesbian until after my divorce. I did have crushes on other girls when I was growing up, but didn't give it much thought, and if asked, I would have said it was nothing--just a phase maybe. I knew I was supposed to grow up, get married, and have kids. Anything else was not an option. After my divorce, I did a lot of thinking. I had a chance to think about me--who I was, what I wanted to do with my life, what kind of person I might want to be with. I thought about my life so far, when I was happiest, and who I liked to spend time with. I felt free to think for the first time since I was a teenager, and certain people, certain situations, certain feelings kept jumping out at me. It was scary and yet liberating. It's no accident that I got to know Karen--mutual friends asked her to come for a visit, and we were able to spend some time together. I fell in love with her--truly, madly, deeply--but also came to the conclusion that I was, without a doubt, gay. There's no other way to describe it; I just felt "right" in my body for the first time ever. Nobody can convince me that I am anything else but a lesbian--no religious leader, no politician, no medical person, no family member, no talk show host--nobody. I vowed never to "live in the closet"; I have always been a pretty open person, and I "am who I am". The first few months of our relationship, I had to lie, and I hated it, hated the burden and the pressure. I am truly blessed to have family and friends who have supported my decision and who still unconditionally love me. I know I'm fortunate--I have heard too many stories of people who are gay and who are abandoned by those they love, who lose children and jobs and homes because of who they are. It's not only tragic, but it's stupid. Think about who YOU have fallen in love with; does what gender they are make you love them any differently? It's chemistry, pure and simple. Here's where it gets frustrating for me. As a straight person, I took for granted all those rights and privileges I had. The two of us went and got a marriage license. The marriage was recognized in all 50 states, and in every country we visited. I was automatically on his health insurance plan, we got auto insurance, rented an apartment in lower rent married student housing, and had children who have birth certificates with both of our names on them--no questions asked. If he had been in the military, I would have lived in subsidized housing, and been entitled to certain benefits as a military spouse. Wherever we went, I was introduced as his spouse, and he could talk about me to colleagues, and display photos of his family on his desk. I never, ever once considered how another person would react if I talked about my male boyfriend or spouse. I cannot imagine loving anyone else the way I love Karen. Because of her and the relationship we have, I am happier than I have ever been. I am blissfully (and some would say, sappily) aware of how she makes me feel. She makes me a better person. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I want to be married to her. My church will recognize our union, but my state and my country will not. We could go through the motions, and maybe we will, but it will be a ceremony with no legal impact--we will have none of those rights I took for granted when I got married the first time. If I get sick, Karen will not be allowed to make decisions for me, will not be allowed to visit me, unless I have legal documents drawn up which specifically give her those rights. We have separate health insurance policies, and every time I go to a doctor, I must tell them I am gay and that Karen is my partner. They have every right to ignore that and exclude her from medical information. We do not own a home together. We do not have auto insurance together--our separate policies cost much more than a joint policy would. We do not have survivor-ship rights to Social Security, and if one of us leaves something to the other in our will, the survivor will pay hefty taxes. We are fortunate that our places of employment accept our relationship, and I even have photos of her on my desk. For the most part, I can speak openly about our relationship at work, but a couple of co-workers do not know, and I censure myself when I speak to them. I do try to live as openly as possible, but am very cautious when meeting people at my health club, and various organizations I belong to. I don't touch Karen much in public, and there are certain places in town where any physical display of affection would be dangerous; we would be subject to verbal abuse at the very least. Can you imagine? Someone wanting to hurt you because of who you loved? Having to hide who you are because certain segments of society will react so negatively? Gay kids and adults kill themselves every day because of who they are, who they love. It's time to stand up and say, "Enough is enough." Because, as Lt. Daniel Choi said today, "Love is worth it."

Conservatives Are STILL Such a Class Act

This is a clip from a meeting of Americans for Prosperity (one of the main organizers of the Tea Party protests). I guess they're for prosperity...and for America...only if it's Republican America (ignoring the fact, of course, that Bush helped launch the Chicago bid at the White House).