LeAnn Rimes & GMCLA - The Rose

I listened to this song with new ears today; it's such an appropriate song to use when thinking of the LGBT youth who are struggling. Wow. This is powerful.

Much Thanks to be Giving

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. My mom is healthy, and we're all looking forward to a mighty fine Cookie Weekend! The rest of the family is healthy too; for that I'm very grateful.

I'm grateful Erika was able to make it home this year for the holidays, and proud of all she's accomplished. I know too that we were so lucky to be able to share that trip-of-a-lifetime to Greece; it was amazing! I'm grateful Peter is doing so well in school and in life, and I'm so happy he was able to join us this Thanksgiving week. And today, as every day, I'm so grateful to have Karen in my life. I have amazing friends and "family", and I know I'm lucky to have them in my life too. My cup doth runneth over!

I have a job, healthcare, a house, and food in the fridge. Beer too. I can travel, I've been able to see so many new things this year. I can read, write, and express myself in ways that others understand. I am allowed to vote, rant on this blog and on Facebook. I can write letters to the editor! I know how lucky I am, truly I do.

I've been listening to Hilary Rodham Clinton's autobiography, Living History, and I've been reminded of the history of the 1990's. In this year of rancid politics, it's given me hope. But it's reminded me too to be grateful for one more thing--intelligent leaders. And I am grateful. I'm grateful that our president is very smart--much smarter than me. That's how it should be. I'm grateful that he's traveled outside of our country, and I'm especially glad he's lived outside of this country--contrary to what some believe, the world DOES NOT revolve around the United States. We are not "it on a stick", and it's only to our benefit that our president knows this. And it's good that President Obama has hired others that share this world view. While there are some who are so narrow-minded and short-focused to believe that because they have all they need, screw the rest (yeah, I'm talking to the Tea Party), we need leaders who see beyond the tree to the rest of the forest. This year, I'm very grateful we still have them in power. And I'm hopeful, still very hopeful.

When You're Down and Troubled

I'm writing this before the election results have come in; it's sort of a pep talk to myself, but I thought I should put it here in case others need a pep talk too. I sincerely hope all of my candidates win (!), but I'm afraid that a few of those I'm rooting for will fail to get elected. Le sigh...

I may need a few days to recover; to see that the sun does indeed rise again, and no matter what, my family and friends are still here. And I'll hear that fine refrain, "I will survive".

But back to the pep talk:

1) Your candidate may get elected. Good for you. Do not gloat.

2) Your candidate may not get elected. I'm sorry. Fire up that e-mail machine, and get ready to hold the "winner" accountable!

3) As a past candidate who thought she knew everything, and then got elected, there's an immediate, very steep learning curve for the newly elected. They will find out that they weren't so smart, and if they are wise, they will shut their mouths and start reading. Reading about budgets, laws, guidelines, chains of command, the office they are moving into. It's really all fun and games when everyone is cheering for you; when reality hits and you get your first nasty e-mail from a pissed off constituent, it's a real eye-opener. Or when you find that the law prevents you from doing something--and that law is there for a very good reason. You HAVE to know real stuff, not just sound bites, or your time in office will be every short indeed. [As an aside, if your candidate lost to a real nut-job, that nut-job will have no real clout, because really, everyone knows they're a nut-job].

4) Our new office-holders will be forced to listen to the "other side". They will have constituents to answer to, fellow office holders to get along with (even if it's just to hold the door for them), and some level of dignity to maintain. When you're forced to listen to the other side, most of the time you learn something. First you find out that things aren't just black and white. You might have your "trusted aid" whispering in your ear most of the time, but you've also got to listen to that vet who needs some help, to that constituent who has family overseas and needs to have questions answered and you're the only one they can turn to, and to those thousands and thousands of people who are in your state and district and who are now e-mailing you (see # 2) and calling you and who are telling you to LISTEN!!!

5) If your new office-holder believes in God and you don't, there's a good chance that the imaginary thing they are praying to will actually give good advice once in a while. It's the law of averages or something like that.

6) Our new office-holder will need staff. If they are in Congress, they will need lots of staff. Hopefully they will hire the most competent ones; the ones who have had some experience and who honestly believe in trying to make this country the best it can be.

7) There is another election in 2 years.

Consider This

Sometimes you can watch show after show, read endlessly, and then one soft-spoken woman drops a little bombshell of a comment--this is the one Dr. said on Rachel tonight: "Think about it. Women who have abortions are supporting motherhood."

Think about it. Peel away all your opinions, biases, and deeply held beliefs and think about what she said. Because she's right.

Women who have abortions are saying, "I cannot be a good mother at the moment. I have the utmost respect for mothers, but I cannot be one now. Maybe some day, I will be a good mother, but not now. Now I need to take care of myself."

Well, I'm Not Sure....

After 6 gay American teenagers in the past 6 weeks committed suicide, a collective cry was heard--for the tragic loss of all these young lives.  Who knows what these kids could have contributed for our society, had they lived long enough?
In reaction to these tragedies, an on-line project was launched; its message was simple:  "It gets better."  There have been many eloquent, touching, heart-felt videos posted on this YouTube site:
http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject#p/f/62/XnDPmOsxDs0
I've watched some; I've cried a little, I've laughed, but most of all, I've applauded the courage and the optimism of these adults, as they try to give hope to young gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender teens.

But I'm not sure they're right.  I'm not sure it does get better.

I'm sorry to be a cynic, but that's the way it looks to me in 2010 America.  When I was a teenager, I had such hope for this country; I thought my generation would be much more fair, more open, more accepting, and more tolerant than my parents' generation.  I was wrong.  And unfortunately, my generation is now teaching the next generation to be just as intolerant as we are.
Think I'm wrong?  Just where are the little bullies learning their bullying ways?  From big bullies, of course!  Kids aren't born being bigots; they aren't born thinking that difference must always = bad.  They don't come out believing that everyone must worship the same God, have the same color skin, and love the same types of people they love in order to be "good" people.  But boy, do they learn those lessons in a hurry!  Whatever their parents tell them, their church reinforces, and as soon as they can pay attention to television, the leaders of their city, state, and nation are telling them that too.  The venom that is spewed by adults falls directly into the minds of kids--there's no filter; after all, "we're" the ones who know everything!

AND, these little kids learn very quickly that there's a "pecking order" on that playground, and it's no good to be different in any way.
Then, there's the fact that those little bullies grow up to be big bullies, with a lot more power than they ever thought possible.
Don't want to hire that "fag"?  It's legal in 30 states to flat out tell someone they can't work for you because they might be gay.  In 37 states, you have the power to refuse to rent to someone because of their sexual orientation.  Hey big guy--want to protest outside a school with a sign that says, "God Hates Fags"?  Go right ahead--some other bullies might just join you.  Feel like becoming a minister and telling your congregation that homosexuals will burn in Hell?  You will have plenty of Americans shouting "Amen", and then going to their next City Council meeting to parrot those very words--you'll probably get your own television show and a multi-million dollar salary to boot.  Makes you feel all important, doesn't it?  Want to run for office on the platform of "Less Government, except when it comes to those people who want "special rights"?  There's a very big group of people who will send you lots of money and cheer loudly for you at your rallies--that's a real rush for a guy who got his start pushing "sissy" kids into mud puddles, isn't it?

Here's how the cynical me sees life for a gay teenager in America today.  My advice to you is be strong, keep your head down, and hang on to those you can trust.  There IS someone out there who does love you for who you are.    The wider world, beyond your high school, is full of people like you, or who like people like you.  There are actually GROUPS of people like you--really.  Find P-FLAG on the internet, find a local LGBT group--anything--just know you're not alone.  You're going to need that support, because as soon as you graduate from high school, the bullies get bigger.

•  No, you cannot go into the military, you cannot serve your country no matter how much you want to, because you're gay, and "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is still the law of the land.  
• Be careful how you dress and carry yourself at that job interview, because they don't have to hire you. AND, once hired, you can be fired.
• Ditto when looking for an apartment.
• Be careful where you walk at night, where you go to have fun, and where you go to meet people, because those bullies are still out there, except they are stronger and can hit harder.
• I don't have to tell you to choose your church with care, because you already know that--have known it from an early age.  I encourage you to ask around, or head right for the UU Church in town--you'll be welcomed there.  
• Vote, but keep your expectations low.
• Meet someone you're crazy about.  But do not talk about them at work, with your extended family, or when meeting someone in a social setting--then you're "throwing your 'lifestyle' in their face".  And for god's sakes, do NOT ever, ever, ever touch your partner in front of them.  Ever.  
• Fall in love, but it's not likely you will be allowed to marry.  Even if your state allows it, the federal government will not recognize it.  And, people will still feel compelled to yell, "Dyke!" out their car window at you.    
• Move in with your partner, but do not expect to be able to get joint health insurance, car insurance, and your life insurance proceeds will cost your partner a ton of money in inheritance taxes.  
• Don't expect to be allowed to adopt children.  And if you're lucky to have kids some day, there's a whole 'nother set of problems as you deal with parents and other kids who think your family is weird...at best.
• If your partner is hospitalized, do not expect to be able to make decisions for them...if you're allowed to see them at all.
• DO expect your local fellow citizens to quote scripture, be crude and offensive, and still spew all the venom you heard in high school...at any and all local government meetings.  They don't want to know you--you make them uncomfortable.  YOU are expected to remain polite and soft-spoken--otherwise, you will be threatening them, and they will then be "allowed" to hit you.  
• Then, when you die, your partner gets the shaft:
  http://www.workforce.com/section/benefits-compensation/feature/gay-couples-navigate-steep-retirement-challenges/index.html

In spite of all this "advice", I encourage you to be yourself....always.  It might not get better, but you'll get stronger, and more brave, and you will savor those moments when you're loved for who you are.  Remember, my LGBT friend, you have been given a rare gift: you are aware, and therefore appreciate, when "it's all good".

You Should Know This About Donn Brown

I really want to send this as a Letter to the Editor to our local newspaper; I think people in District 27 deserve to know about the Republican candidate.  But I'm afraid to; I'm afraid of repercussions from Donn Brown or his friends.  It's a very sad day in America when a citizen is afraid to speak out against another; it's sad that our civil discourse as sunk so low.
If I could, I would write the following:
"To the Editor:
I would like to issue a “voter beware” for those in District 27. First, a disclaimer—I do not vote in District 27, and am asking you consider what I say as a cautionary tale.
I first “met” Donn Brown in April 2007, when I sat next to him at a speech I attended at Purdue University. I have attended a lot of public events, and have held public office. But I have never, ever encountered what I did that night, sitting next to Mr. Brown. He heckled the speaker, not once, but twice—standing up and shouting things. The second time he disrupted the speech, I politely asked him to sit down, pointing out that it was not his turn to speak. He threatened me, asking if I wanted to step outside.    
The next time I "met" Mr. Brown, he was the head of Citizens in Action, the local Tea Party group.  The group had organized 2 "Question and Answer" forums about the Health Care Reform bill that was being debated  in Washington.   I had expected the sessions to be one-sided, but was taken aback by Mr. Brown's complete control of the microphone.  Each forum opened with Mr. Brown "lecturing" for 30-45 minutes, followed by a number of speakers who supported his positions completely.  There was no real "discussion" of the issues, and facts about the bill were few.  At the first forum, I attempted to tell of my experiences with the British Health Care System.  He cut me off, and it wasn't until later in the "Q & A", when a woman directed a question to me, that I was "allowed" to finish.  At the second forum, Mr. Brown made it clear that I could speak, but I would not be allowed to use his microphone--this in a room of over 200 people.  I'm not even sure he heard me, let alone others in the room.  
Contrast this with incumbent Sheila Klinker--every time I see her, she greets me by name, asks about my family, and listens.  It's not just me--I've seen her do it over and over and over again, with anybody who approaches her.
Voters in District 27, I ask you to think about this before you cast your vote:  If Donn Brown will not even listen to you, how do you expect him to represent you?"

By the way, here's a link to the article about the lecture I attended at Purdue--Mr. Brown is identified by name.
http://www.purdueexponent.org/index.php?module=article&story_id=5404

Hyperventilating into October

The mid-term elections and the possible-to-probable outcomes have made me nauseous and hard to live with.  What happened to our optimism, our hope for a better America immediately after the 2008 election?  What happened to the feelings that prompted me to write this:
"I am the eternal optimist though, and I take hope from the election yesterday. I look at the amazing turnout of young voters, and I am hopeful that we have moved from the "Me" generation to the "We" generation; from the generation that, for good reason (Kent State, the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr. and Bobby Kennedy, Watergate), believed government could accomplish nothing, to the generation that believes in a leader named Barack Obama. They will look to President Obama, take his words of wisdom to heart, and begin to build a better nation than the one we have now. The generation that heard, during the first election they could vote, and responded to the candidate, "Yes WE can.""?
What happened?  The voice of the youth was utterly buried under the hate-filled, frightened screams of their elders, who stormed Town Hall meetings in the summer of 2009.  So much for civil discourse.  Those marching to those Town Hall meetings had extreme amnesia over what had happened during the prior administration, when we entered 2 unfunded wars, gave tax cuts to the most wealthy, and fed the unending greed of those for who too much was just not enough.  Falling rapidly on the heels (or preceding these Town Hall meetings even) came the "Tea Party Movement", and the optimism of our youth (and a lot of adults too!) was sucked into a black hole.
Here's the thing that really fucking annoys me about the Tea Party movement--they do not realize they are being manipulated.  It's not far-fetched or crazy to say the people attending the rallies are puppets on a string and they don't even know it.  The puppet masters are the Koch Brothers and Dick Armey--an at-the-time lobbyist for DLA Piper, a firm that was doing lobbying work for the pharmaceutical industry during the Health Care debate.  Armey is the founder of FreedomWorks, a major organizer/ATM machine/darkness behind every Tea Party rally in this country.  Call me crazy, delusional, whatever, but here's the truth:  there are those whose wealth allows them to manipulate any of us at any time, and they are always, always 3 steps ahead of us--they have the time and resources to control what happens in this country, and the election of Barack Obama was not good for their agenda.  My god, the thought that every American just might be allowed to have health care, and that just might cost them .001% of their wealth, was just too much. So they went out and used a very effective tool in their arsenal:  fear.  They made people who were already feeling a little vulnerable afraid.  Very, very afraid...of losing what they had to "those others".   Whisper, out there on the internet, "You're going to lose "[fill in the blank]" to those people," and you're going to get people riled.  Throw in a little about the Constitution, and you've got yourself a Tea Party.


These days, I'm feeling sick to my stomach.  There's a knife sticking in the place I allow optimism to grow, and it hurts. Here are just a few reasons why:

• I hate it that "we" is rapidly giving way to "me", as in, "I've got my rights, so screw you."  ("I've got shitty healthcare provided by my job, and I don't realize I'm one illness from bankruptcy, but I've got it, so screw you."  "I've already got my Social Security, so screw you."  "I can get married, so screw you."  "I can find a doctor any time my teenage daughter, mistress, or girlfriend needs an abortion, AND I can pay for it, so screw you.".  "I got my education, so screw you.")  Is this how we want the younger generation to think??  Really??  We want them to think they don't have to take care of us in our old age?  We want them to think that they can pick and choose what they pay taxes for?  We want them to think that it's "all about me"?  Really?
• We stand a very good chance of electing to public office people who are unprepared and ignorant; a dangerous combination.  The riled Tea Party people voted for some scary people in the primaries, and if we don't vote in the midterm elections, if we don't think it's very important, then these people will be in charge of the future of our country.  I'm scared that crazy people are winning--crazy people like Sharron Angle in Nevada, who believes God wants her to run, and once voted against allowing a football team to wear black jerseys because that color was associated with the devil.  Christine O'Donnell, who believes abstinence should include masturbation, because if you masturbate, you're lusting after yourself.  
• People who deliver news to us, keep our collective memory, who inform us about our world--those who are called "journalists"--are failing us.  There isn't news reporting any more, there isn't investigative journalism; there is manipulation of "sound bites", there is slant and slander, and there is a lot of shouting and, at the same time, silencing, of those who should be listened to.  We have 24 hour a day news, and yet we're losing the ability to analyze, to push aside the bullshit, to think for ourselves.  I read the Letters to the Editor every day, and a majority of the writers are parroting whichever "talking head" they listen to.    
• The Republicans in Congress suck--I wish I could think of a better way to put it, but there are no clean words.  They vote "NO" ....for everything!!!!!!  They hold up bills in committee, they refuse to allow bills to pass to the floor of the Senate (just 1 little man can do that!), they threaten to filibuster (here's a novel idea--LET THEM DO IT!  Make them pee into a cup on the floor of the Senate, make them talk for 100000000 hours straight--whatever, just make them do it!), and they basically are proposing the same things they did in 2008--cut taxes for the wealthy, decrease spending (what, they don't say), privatize Social Security (because the Stock Market is just so stable), and deregulate (oh yeah, let's trust Wall Street to police themselves)--policies which 99.9% of economists say will not work, and will only hurt this country more than it's already hurting.  

Here's what I wrote at the end of 2008:  "When I was a kid, I could trust the adults to take care of things, and as a young adult, I could still trust the real adults to take care of things. But now I'm that adult that kids are trusting to make everything all right, and I'm feeling pretty powerless. I used to be able to focus my worry on one or two major problems facing the country at the moment, but now the major problems are so numerous as to be overwhelming--I don't know what to worry about first."  I still feel that way, and I feel so much worse now.  WE.  ARE.  FAILING.  OUR.  YOUNGER.  GENERATION.

• We, the adults, think it's OK to declare "God Hates Fags"....to say "Marriage is between one man and one woman."  Anything else is repulsive, sick, and perverted.  It's OK to make gay jokes, to tell those gays that they're just wanting "special rights" when they ask for permission to be with their dying loved one.  We, the adults, make fun of those who are transgendered.  You see, those people just make us uncomfortable, so it's OK to laugh, to point and make comments, to say those people should be shot, because they're just not normal.  We adults think that any lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, or queer person deserves to be treated like a second class citizen, and damn that bit of the Declaration of Independence that talks about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.   Is it any surprise that 5 gay children have killed themselves this MONTH?  Because other children believed it was OK to bully them?  To let hateful comments, just like they've heard at home and in their churches, spew out of their mouths too.  
• We, the adults, have decided it's OK take civility in politics down a notch (or ten)--don't agree with the president?  Compare him to Hitler, call him the Anti-Christ.  Scared about something you don't understand?  Call the politicians communists, or socialists.  Angry about a vote in Congress?  By all means, spit on your Representative, or send her threatening letters--attached to a brick--through the window of her Home Office.  Just plain scared?  Blame it on the brown people.  Is it any surprise our youth have checked out of the political process?
• We, the adults, have decided that our religion belongs in our government.  To that end, we are doing everything we can to limit the rights of others to worship their deity.  Let's protest against that Muslim community center they want to build in NY City!  Or that mosque in Tennessee.  Hey!  What my church teaches me should be made law!   Let's tell women and girls they have to bear their rapists' child, because "God works in ways we don't understand."  Better yet, let's make that a law.  Is it a surprise that I am scared for my rights, my daughter's rights, and the rights of every other woman in this nation?  That my child has decided to live in a country that has a civil government?
• We, the adults, believe that just because our minister says the earth is only 6,000 years old, it must be true.  Let's put that in all the text books, so every kid in the U.S. can believe that too!  Is it any surprise that our children are falling behind those in other countries when it comes to education?  

   If you are still reading this rant, I thank you.  Now I ask you to do this:  use your power for good.  Keep doing it, over and over and over.  Think for yourself.  Speak for yourself, and be mindful of the power of your words.  Vote as if the lives of others depend on it.  Because they do.
Hug your loved ones.  Make them feel good about themselves.  Laugh.  Teach kids to laugh.  Because they already know how to cry.

Once Again, Rachel Gets It

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This clip is the best I've seen on Rachel's show in a while; she and Prof. Melissa Harris-Lacewell so eloquently speak to the issue that I just had to share it.
Here's the crux of the issue, in case you missed it:  If you are against abortion EVEN IN THE EVENT OF RAPE OR INCEST, you are saying that you are willing for your government to arrest and force an 11 (or 12 or 43 year old--does the age really matter) year old to give birth to her rapists' child.  Really?  You, as a woman, are willing to do that?  To force a child to give birth against her will?
Now don't go all soft on me and start qualifying it...."Well, I really just think the doctor should be arrested."  or "Of course, the woman would not go to jail!"  Really???   Think this through.  You could arrest every single doctor who provides health care to women, and a desperate woman will still find a way to have an abortion.  The only logical conclusion to your argument is to start incarcerating pregnant women, and force them to give birth.
Don't have the stomach for that?  Then step away from your total, absolute belief that abortion should never be allowed.  Other women will thank you for it.
I could get started on the hypocrisy of the libertarians and Tea Partiers who are against reproductive rights for women, but I'll save that for another time.

I Will Miss You, Liz

     Today, one of my friends died.  Liz Mattingly fought long, hard, and bravely, but once again, cancer won, taking the life of a special person.  Dammit.  I will miss knowing that Liz is here among us; it was a comfort to know she was a presence on this earth.  
     It seems strange to put it that way, but Liz and I didn't see each other very much, and I actually didn't realize she was so sick.  But knowing that she was here, in this community, made things "right" in my world, and I feel a void now that she's gone.  I really hate it that our lives get so complicated, so filled that we don't have time to spend with all of those who mean so much to us.  My family is scattered, my friends are busy, and there is always work, "stuff", and more "stuff", and before I know it, another person is gone.  I wish I could say things will be different from here on, but I know that, even tomorrow, "stuff" will get in the way, and I will miss another opportunity....
     I met Liz in the summer of 2000, just after I was elected to the local School Board.  She had just been re-elected, and I was very green and very full of myself.  Within a month, I knew that I really knew so very little about my new job.  Liz and all the other "veteran" Board members were very patient with me, and soon we were friends as well as colleagues.  We faced some very tough, very challenging situations during our time together on the Board, and my respect and admiration of her intelligent, yet quiet, leadership grew.  Because of the confidential nature of what we were dealing with, Liz was one of the few people I could freely speak to, and with her words of wisdom, her laughter, her calm nature, she kept me sane.  In fact, Liz became a person I knew I could completely trust, at a time when there were few I could say that about.  Our friendship continued after our time on the Board; I cherished our friendship, and I am so very, very sad that she's gone.
     A community often takes for granted those who quietly serve.  At a time when politics seems to only be about those who attract the most attention, who shout the loudest, who say the most provocative things, it's very easy to overlook those who diligently do their jobs, efficiently serve the public.  Liz is one of those who was overlooked, unfortunately.  She was so intelligent, so thoughtful, but yet so quiet; I quickly learned that if Liz said something, I'd better listen, because she was going to say something I really, really needed to hear.  She cared deeply about our community, our schools and the people in them--students, teachers, administrators, staff, and she was willing to dedicate a good number of years--precious years, as it turns out--to serving those she cared about.  At a tumultuous time in our school corporation, she was willing to give, and give, and give--she was a true public servant.  Thank you, Liz, for all you did for us.  We need to have more leaders like you.
     I will miss you, Liz.  I will miss your laugh, I will miss the stories about your amazing children, and I will mourn the loss of time I thought we had together.  I raise a glass to you (it just seems appropriate), and I say, "Thank you, friend!  You made this world a better place.  You made me a better person.  May you rest peacefully now."

Maybe I Don't Want to Grow Old.....

Today's Sermon: How We Present Ourselves to Others Via Our T-Shirts

This is the sermon I gave at our church today:

What You Say About Yourself…Via Your T-Shirt

Sermon of August 15, 2010

                To know me is to know that I’m a very visual person.  I do like listening to music, tasting fresh tomatoes, the smell of a lilac bush, but I LOVE the things I can see:  paintings, photography, and especially books.  And when I want to communicate my ideas, opinions, thoughts, I choose the written word.  Words are all around me in my daily life—I work in a library, I come home to more books, I write two blogs, I collect political buttons, and our refrigerator is covered with magnets—we have so many, in fact, that they have spilled over on to our metal front door.  My obsession with words doesn’t stop there--you only have to look at my car to see what I mean—I have 5 bumper stickers at the moment:  “Maddow:  Mind over Matter” , “The Bush Legacy:  Leave no child a dime”, “I believe in the separation of church and hate”, one that is a gift from my daughter:  “Buckle up.  It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.”, and the newest, a gift from a friend, that calls Arizona the “papers please” state.  I love bumper stickers so much, I even did a service about them here just a couple of years ago.  But I know my car is going the way of the drive-in movie—toward extinction!  Sigh….

                The Worship Committee kindly approached me about doing a summer service way back in the spring, but it wasn’t until my recent trip to England and Greece that I knew what I wanted as a topic.  And then, of course, what I had in mind for the sermon changed as my trip went on—it’s always that way for me; I learn so much as I plan and write a sermon, that I never completely say what I had originally planned. 

                I was sitting in the airport in Chicago, waiting to board my plane, when I spotted the t-shirt that started it all:  a guy was coming toward me wearing a blue shirt with the letters NRA in gold.  Immediately  I had 3 thoughts: 

1)        The ugly American is alive and well,

2)       I’m going to do my service about how Americans present themselves to the rest of the world through their obnoxious t-shirts,  and

3)       There is NO WAY I want to sit next to that guy on the plane—if the terrorists know what the NRA is, they will shoot him first!

But here’s the thing—I was in Europe for two weeks, and NEVER saw the ugly American—never saw the loud, arrogant, t-shirt wearing, insufferable fellow traveler from the US that I thought I would run into everywhere.  I had experienced such a person all the time when I lived abroad 20 years ago, but now they are as rare as the aforementioned drive-in movie theatre.  20 years ago, I watched Americans swagger through Europe, making loud comments about weird food, strange people, and curious customs of the places they were visiting.  They didn’t try to listen and learn; they were there to conquer--to prove they had money, therefore power, and were not afraid to show it.  But this trip was different; every person had the same tired, resigned look as they shuffled through airport security, there were random acts of kindness every place I went, and the only ones shouting were the vendors and hotel hawkers we encountered as we got off the ferry.   It could be that, traveling with college-aged women, I wasn’t in the places where the rich Americans are stroked and coddled, but I don’t want to believe that.  I want to believe that Americans have experienced some personal growth since 1990!  I did see some t-shirts, but the majority of those in English were worn by teenagers from all over the world, and for the most part had random words emblazoned on the front; no catchy phrases, no declarations of belief.     However, for the sake of this service, I’m happy to report that Americans still DO wear message-bearing t-shirts here at home!

                 

                I was an adolescent in the early 70’s, and my love of t-shirts began as soon as I had a job, and money to buy them.  I fondly remember the distinct smell of the iron-on t-shirt shop in the mall; my friends and I would spend hours going through all the display racks of rock bands, movie stars, cute kittens “hanging in there”, and comic figures who kept on truckin’.  My two favorite shirts were my Sylvester Stallone as “Rocky” (hey, it was a gift from a boyfriend) and my “Women Belong in the House…and the Senate”.

                After I graduated from college, my t-shirt collection dwindled, replaced by work clothes and then mom clothes.  But by the mid 1990s, I was noticing, and purchasing, shirts with words I thought appropriate to communicate to others.  My first favorite t-shirt catalog was Northern Sun, a company still based in Minneapolis.  This is what they say about themselves:  “Northern Sun got its start back in 1979, right before radiation started leaking from the Three Mile Island nuclear plant in Harrisburg, PA (March 28, 1979). Riding a bicycle and carrying a backpack full of t-shirts, etc., Scott (the owner) began selling message-oriented items at anti-nuke events. In 1980, Ronald Reagan was selected President, creating a big demand for anti-war stuff. G W Bush was good for business too.”  I recently visited their catalog on-line, and quickly realized I’m not the only UU who likes them—Unitarian Universalists have their own side link!    

                There’s another on-line site I like:  Cafepress.com.  I’ve purchased t-shirts (like the one I’m wearing) from them, but most of the time I go just to peruse, laugh, and think about the items they have on display.  In fact, I did the majority of my research for this sermon at their site.  And, Fritz Smith has a site there—just type in fritzotic.  What’s cool about Cafepress. com is that you can type in a subject, and they will list all the items they think pertain to that topic.  For instance, type in the word “Religion”, and you get 148,000 items.  They mostly get it right, but sometimes you have to schlup through a lot of “negatives” to get to a “positive”, and vice versa. 

                The thing about wearing a t-shirt with a message is that you really have to OWN the message; it’s your statement, and you literally stand behind it.  Reaction from other people, positive or negative, is immediate, so you really do have to choose your words carefully, considering the full effect on others—are you going for entertainment, thoughtfulness, alienation?  Based on my research, I’ve come up with 3 general categories that I think any given t-shirt might fall into:  (The “I am”, the “Think about it like this”, and the” totally random”. 

The “I am” (or also the “I believe”) shirt; what I think you need to know about me immediately, before we are formally introduced.  In this category, the shirts will present the information in different ways: 

There can be the simple declarative list: 

 “Librarian by day.  Deadly ninja by night.”

 “I’m a right wing, anti-illegal, pro-life, gun owning, straight, white, college educated, politically informed, conservative, Christian male.  Liberals hate me.”

“Libertarian.  Socially liberal.  Fiscally conservative.”

“Yes, I am in the right bathroom”

“Proud member of the vast liberal conspiracy.”

“I am whole perfect strong powerful loving harmonious and happy.”

“Yes, I’m Mexican.  No, I won’t cut your lawn.”

“Straight, Christian, and FOR Gay Rights”

 “BASIC:  Becoming a Soldier in Christ”

“God made me gay.  Unity made me proud.  America made me second class.”

“American Atheist”

“100% Christian and proud of it!”

“That’s MS. Liberal, Pro-Choice, Tree-hugging, Hippie Freak to you, Pal.”

“Underestimate me.  I dare you.”

“Warning:  this homosexual may provoke irrational anger when placed near ignorant, close-minded bigots.”

“I’m NOT a diva.  I’m NOT a brat.  I’m NOT a princess.  I’m a smart, capable girl.  Get used to it.”

There can be the “we might have something in common”: 

“We are all related”

“Christian since ____________ (various years to choose from)”

“I love Mormon girls”, “I love my mommies”, “I love my gay uncle”,  

“We are all on the path, precisely where we need to be.”

“BFF JC and Me”

“Unitarian Universalist Christian”  also, “Jewnitarian Jewniversalist”

“I only date Republicans”

“Come out, come out Atheists wherever you are.”

“Republicans scare me”

“Yes, we can!”  [drawing of Rosie the Riveter, Michelle Obama, or Barack Obama, all flexing their muscle]

“Why yes, I’d love to engage in a conversation about feminism with you.”

“I have faith God loves America”

“Republican chick”

“I was Pagan in my last life too.”

“GOP:  girlfriend of Palin”

“Gay friendly”

for a kid:  “I have inherent worth and dignity, and I’m as cute as all get out.”

 Or, they can be provocative (depending on who is viewing your shirted statement):

“My goddess gave birth to your God”,

“Tree hugging dirt worshipper”

“His cross.  My shield.  Better than health insurance.”

“What you believe is NOT the problem. What YOU believe I should believe is the problem.”

“Jesus loves you…but I’m his favorite.”

“My god doesn’t do hate.”

“God loves us….just ask her.”

“I doubt it.”

“Good without God,”

“I can’t even think straight”

“Pardon me, but your religion is not my law”

“God loves you”

“Keep your rosaries away from my ovaries.”

“If God doesn’t like the way I live, let Him tell me, not you.”

The second type of t-shirt is the “Think about it like this”.  Yes, it’s an order, because after all, you are reading the  shirt:

        “One nation, Under God”

        “Jesus is coming.  Look busy.”

        “Gender bender”

        “Kill a priest”

        “They say I said WHAT????”—this shirt is accompanied by a picture of a surprised Jesus

        “What have you done for Karma today?”

        “Gay rights are human rights.”

        “God is not a falsifiable theory”

        “We went to Iowa and all I got was this fabulous husband”

        “Sin stinks and God won’t hold his breath forever”

        “If the embryo you save is gay, will you still fight for its’ rights?”

        “Two things every American should know how to use (photos of a handgun and a Bible)…neither of which are      taught in school.”

        “Eve was framed.”

        “A woman’s heart should be so lost in God, a man has to be seeking Him in order to find her.”

        “Unitarians are good, for nothing.”

        “Got land?  Thank an Indian.”

There is a special category in the “Think about it like this”; I call it the misrepresentation of a historical quote shirt.  Poor Thomas Jefferson is probably the most misunderstood and misquoted of all historical figures.  Various movements, the Tea Party movement in particular, have embraced his words to justify their actions and beliefs. 

“The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is as a last resort to protect themselves against tyranny in government” and

         “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”

            and

             this Thomas Jefferson quote, perhaps the most famous because Timothy McVeigh wore it the day he bombed the Federal Building in Oklahoma City:  “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” 

And finally,

The totally random shirt:

“Release Judas Iscariot”

“Jesus and US veterans:  The only forces that have ever offered to die for you!”

“As Freud said, ‘Sometimes a clam is just a clam.’”

“I shot Lucifer”

“Dinosaurs are Jesus ponies.”

“Real men love Jesus.  And bacon.”

 And the best random shirt I saw:  “Be a rebel.  Support peace.”  this declaration was accompanied by a drawing of Buddha with Confederate flags. 

I’ve asked you, as you design the shirt, to think about who you want to see this t-shirt?  Teacher?  Boss?  People you are meeting for the first time?  Random people on the street?  OUR NEW MINISTER?    If I were designing my t-shirt, to introduce myself for the first time, it would say this:

“Well behaved women seldom make history.  I read past my bedtime.  Save the earth.  It’s the only planet with chocolate.  The one who tells the stories rules the world.  There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.  Happiness is a cup of tea and a good book.  Life is short.  Read fast!  Feminist and not afraid to say it.  An educated girl can empower a nation.  Love is love.  When do I get to vote on YOUR marriage?  We are everywhere. I don’t mind straight people as long as they act gay in public.  We have an obligation to pass along to our children a more tolerant, a more decent society.  Be the change you wish to see in the world.  Blessed be.”

For All of You Who STILL Think They're SPECIAL Rights

Thank You For Your Call from Shawn Nee / discarted on Vimeo.

Is that the best you've got?

Last night on her show, Rachel Maddow speculated about the reason for the conservative, right-wing's silence on the Prop 8 ruling in California.  With a ruling this big, you would expect everyone from Sarah Palin to Michelle Bachmann to Focus on the Family to be hyperventilating into every available camera in the United States (not just on Faux News).  But the right-wing was surprisingly quiet; a very few weighed in on the decision.  It was interesting to hear the analysis from Rachel and her guest, but I have one additional point to make:  Perhaps they are reluctant to argue with something they know to be true.  I know, I know--this could be the start of something entirely new for them!  But really--if you read the ruling (and I'm making my way through it), you will see that the defense did not have a case.  None at all.  They called 2 "expert" witnesses, but there was no scientific data presented to back up their claims....probably because there isn't any reliable, unbiased data to be found.  
But the silence was troubling.....eerie....a little unnerving..... 
I thought they were also having trouble refuting the ruling because the judge had such solid credentials--Reagan had tried to have him appointed, but Judge Walker was called "too conservative"; George HW Bush finally succeeded in getting him to the bench.  But I was wrong--turns out the supporters of Prop 8 were maybe just having trouble writing statements like this (as maybe they realized how ridiculous they themselves were sounding):

“The ‘trial’ in San Francisco in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger case is a unique, and disturbing, episode in American jurisprudence. Here we have an openly gay (according to the San Francisco Chronicle) federal judge substituting his views for those of the American people and of our Founding Fathers who I promise you would be shocked by courts that imagine they have the right to put gay marriage in our Constitution. We call on the Supreme Court and Congress to protect the people’s right to vote for marriage,” stated Maggie Gallagher, Chairman of the Board of NOM.

First of all, I think the Founding Fathers would be more appalled that we would even consider putting the rights of minorities up for a vote....but I digress....

IF YOU FOLLOW Maggie Gallagher's logic, that a "gay judge" (please, please note that Judge Walker's sexuality has not been verified, nor should it be) cannot be trusted to rule about marriage equality for "gay people", then.......

• Men should not be allowed to rule in cases involving other men,
• Christians can not rule on cases involving other Christians,
• Pet owners should not sit on juries of cases involving animal cruelty......

I could go on and on and on, because Gallagher's statement was just so....so...silly....but I won't.  Perhaps Gallagher watched too much "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", in which gay men were the ultimate judges on what a straight male should look like (they were usually right), how his dwelling should be decorated, and what he should eat? 
Following this logic, we all need to carry ID cards, detailing our bedroom activities, to jury duty, to work, to vote.  I really cannot wait to be required to vote for those who list their sexuality as "heterosexual" on the ballot--I mean, a heterosexual cannot possibly be trusted to be impartial about another heterosexual..... 

But ultimately, I'm just left, scratching my head and asking, "Really?  Is that the best you've got?"

Thank You, Judge Walker

Today is a historic day.  US District Chief Judge Vaughn Walker has ruled that California's Prop 8, by denying gays and lesbians the same right to marry that heterosexuals enjoy, violates the United States Constitution.
When minority rights are put to a vote, time and time again these rights are denied.  Rights are usually given to minorities through actions in courts of law, or legislative bodies.  This case was no different, and tonight we celebrate another landmark in civil rights in this country.
Here's the complete ruling:

Thank you to the plaintiffs:  Kristin Perry, Sandra Stier, Paul Katami and Jeffrey Zarrillo; the lawyers:  Ted Olson and David Boies, and all those in California who have worked so hard for marriage equality in their state.  Thank you to all of you, across the sexuality spectrum, who truly believe in justice and equality for all humans.  Love is love is love.

Firefly AKA Junebug AKA D.K.

We have a new addition to the family.  For a short (undoubtedly too short) time, we have a kitten.  He arrived in our window well last Sunday night--we still don't know if his mom left him there, or if he wandered there on his own.  But he's cute, and needy, and abandoned, and well...cute, so we've taken him in for a while.  Finding a permanent home for him has not been difficult--we have one friend who has already spoken for him, and at least 3 others "in waiting" if that doesn't work out.  But for at least the next 4 weeks, he's all ours, and we couldn't be happier.  Well, I should say, the HUMANS here couldn't be happier.  The other cats are a different matter.  Neither of them know quite what to think; Charlie keeps his distance, and Kiki gets close, then backs off, as if to say, "Look.  You  made me a career woman, and I will not be taking care of this baby!"
Because he's only about 2 1/2 weeks old, needs to be bottle-fed every 3-4 hours (and until yesterday needed "help" with the pooping/peeing thing), and we thought maybe we should keep him until all of that is over.  At 6 weeks or so, he can get his first shots, and be ready to join another family.  But sloppily happily, we get to have him through all those adorable baby days, and we will be posting photos of him well past the time you beg us to stop.......

 
 I mean, how could we resist sharing this kitten cuteness??!!

I also want to say that here's yet another reason why I love Karen so much--without hesitation, she suggested taking care of this kitten.  Neither of us knew what was involved, and for the first couple of days we (kitten included) bumbled our way through feedings.  Then, as if a little lightbulb went off in his head, the kitten latched on to the bottle and sucked down its first full meal.  Since then, it's been fairly smooth sailing, AND he's slept through the night every night--something my "human kids" couldn't claim for months!!!  In another couple of days, we can begin to introduce kitten food, and I guess after that we'll be done with the bottle.  After that, it will be litter training, grooming, and...sniff...before we know it, our kitten will be ready to face the world.      

Rachel v Rand

I never thought I would say these words!  But sometimes the truth, as painful as it is, must be stated.
OK, deep breath......Rachel was wrong.  I know, I know--I worship the ground she walks on, but the Rand Paul interview was a low point, in my opinion, and I really think she compounded the issue last night.
Rand Paul is an extremely intelligent, articulate....Libertarian.  And Rachel is an extremely intelligent, articulate...NOT Libertarian.  They had a great discussion about the Civil Rights Act of 1964, but as I watched the interview, it became clear to me that Rachel just wanted to win the argument.  She lost journalistic focus and perspective, forced herself into a corner, and just flat out tried every way she knew to win the argument.  Except there wasn't a win or lose position to be had; if anything, the viewers were the winners because they were observing a great conversation between two smart people.  It's so rare that the viewers of television are allowed to witness an "argument" that doesn't involve people shouting over each other, not listening to each other, or with a "moderator" trying to stick their nose in.  That didn't happen the other night, and I for one appreciated the fact that I was able to see both perspectives, which was as educational as it was refreshing.  So, kudos to Rachel and Rand for giving that to me.
But here's the thing.  Rand Paul is an honest-to-goodness Libertarian , and believes in limited government.  And bless him for his beliefs!  When asked, he said, many times and in many different ways, that he's against discrimination in all forms, would not belong to or support clubs that discriminated, and would not abide discrimination in entities that received government support.   I believe him.  He's not a racist.  However, he also said that government has no place in regulating who a business owner does business with.  As repugnant as that may sound to someone who is not a Libertarian, he's staying true to his Libertarian beliefs.  And Rachel was repulsed.  Her basic beliefs and philosophies are not the same as his, pure and simple.  THIS was when she lost focus and just tried to convince Rand Paul that he was wrong, and she was right.  Big mistake.  Instead of going off the first night about violence (the Lunch Counter Demonstrations), and the second night about the right of government to regulate things involving public safety--neither of which had anything to do with Rand Paul's positions, she should have stopped.  She should have listened to me--I was shouting a question for her to ask!
Rachel should have asked Rand if it was also the right of each and every citizen to rise up and tell that business owner that they were wrong to discriminate against others?  Non-violently, of course.  Picket that business person until the cows come home, make it uncomfortable for others to do business there, whatever--was it the right of people to do this?  And Rand would have said yes, it is their right to do this.  Maybe that would have helped Rachel a little, allowed her to breathe and again become the awesome journalist that she is.
There was something else missing from the discussion between Rachel and Rand--a reflection on history.  Why we had to have the Civil Rights Act of 1964 in the first place, why all the provisions of the Act had to be included, how bad our country was at that point.  Because there were places in this country that were so horrible for minorities to live in, it was dangerous for them.  Physically and mentally and emotionally just awful.  And there weren't enough people standing up saying that it was wrong to treat another human being that way; yes, there were a few, just not enough.  Today we live in a different society (it's not perfect!), and most of us know discrimination is wrong, will speak out against it, and will even go so far as to have Human Relations Commissions in our local communities, to make sure businesses are held accountable.  We've come a long way, and have a long way to go.  But it's easy to forget those old days, to think that it never was as bad as all that.  It's like when young people say they're not feminists, because, well, they're not like those women, completely forgetting that those women were the ones who fought for all the rights they now have the opportunity to take for granted--the right to vote, the right to control their own bodies, the right to education, and so on.
It's the history of our country, and the history of humans, that shape our beliefs, and make those pure political beliefs so hard to defend completely.  I think it's easier for Rand Paul to be a Libertarian today than it would have been 55 years ago; I daresay the 21st century man he is would have found some human relations in our country repugnant in the 1950s, making it harder to be a pure Libertarian.  This is not to say what he believes is wrong; the 21st century woman I am says I understand but I just don't agree; I know what humans are capable of, for good and for evil, and I think they need to be held to a very high standard if we are to survive and thrive as a race.  I'm not a Libertarian.
Anyway, I hope I never have to utter "Rachel was wrong" again.  Love her for making me think though.
And one more thing I never thought I'd say--I agree with Republican Sen. John Kyl of Arizona!  Kyl said, "I think the two of them [Rachel and Rand] were having a bit of a good time having a debate like you had at 2 a.m. in the morning when you're going to college, but it doesn't have a lot to do with anything."

  

First the Facts, then the Opinion

Here is a fact--it can be found with very little effort here and here and any number of places on the web, or in actual print books.  I encourage you to do some reading on your own; while your opinions may not change, at least you will have some knowledge of historical events.
This is the fact:  The Catholic Church has not always been against abortion.  I repeat: The Catholic Church has not always been against abortion.  They have dithered, changed their collective mind a couple of times, but it's only been recently (in human terms) that they have been so forcefully against it.  In fact, it was only in 1869 that Pope Pius IX declared the punishment for abortion was excommunication.  What's further of interest to me is that it wasn't until 1917 that another pope said doctors and nurses who took part in abortions could be excommunicated.  AND, it wasn't until 1974 that the Catholic Church determined life began at conception.
So what, you might ask?  Well, I think I'm going to ask that they reconsider these new decisions.  I mean, it's only been 141 years that this most recent opinion has been in place, and maybe it's time to take a step back, breathe, and decide really what the churches' priorities truly should be.  You know, in light of recent history and all.
Because kids have been, and are, being abused by priests.  And those priests have been moved, relocated, "rehabilitated", pushed on, looked over, and well......certainly NOT excommunicated.
But recently, in Phoenix, Bishop Thomas Olmstead excommunicated...a nun.  Wow, you might say, she must have done something really, really bad if she's been excommunicated and all those pedophile priests were not.  What was her heinous crime?
Mercy Sister McBride was excommunicated for "allowing" a woman to have an abortion in her hospital.  This woman, a mother of 5, was dying from pulmonary hypertension.  Her doctor advised her to have an abortion, and she agreed with this advice.  Sister McBride was on call as a member of the hospital's ethics committee, and she was part of a group of people, including the doctor and patient, who decided an abortion was the best option to save the life of the critically ill woman.  A critically ill woman with 5 children at home.
I cannot pretend to know the feelings of each member of this group of people, but I think I can safely say the decision was not made lightly, nor in haste, nor was it an easy decision.  But ultimately, the woman and her healthcare provider decided it was the right one, and that should be that.
Unless you're Mercy Sister McBride.  Then you're kicked out of your church.  Right NOW.  Because.  Because the Bishop didn't think you could be "rehabilitated" or relocated or whatever.  The Bishop thought you were a horrible, heinous, menace to.......................well, not to the woman or her 5 children who needed her..........and probably not to her husband...........and probably not to the family or friends of the woman........but a dreadful, wicked person who ruined the lives of  children,  senior citizens, those who think they have a right to judge.
After careful thought, here is my letter:

  Dear Pope,

Please excommunicate pedophile priests who destroy the lives of children.
Immediately.
That is all.  
Thank you.
Gale
P.S.  I suggest you hold on to the nuns; they are the ones making you look good these days.   Especially Mercy Sister McBride.

Have You Had "THE Talk" with your...

...parents yet?????  I know, I know, it can be awkward and icky and embarrassing, but you owe it to your...parents...to pass along all your information about how to prevent STDs and HIV/AIDS.  Yes, you do, especially if they are new to the dating scene, or have been out of "the sexual loop" for a while.  They may be experimenting, and have the ridiculous idea that it "can't happen to them".  There ARE resources available, and trust me, you are not alone.  Time did a great job covering this issue just a couple of years ago.
But it bears repeating, and I can be glib about it, or funny, but it's a serious matter.  Older people DO have sex, and they DO NOT always think of the consequences.  Why, you ask, am I bringing this up now?  Well, the ABC show Brothers & Sisters had a terrific story line last night about just this thing.  Uncle Saul, who has recently revealed he's gay, was talking to his nephew and his nephew's husband about getting tested for HIV/AIDS--actually, he was avoiding the subject, and they were trying to help him understand that it's a regular part of their medical checkups to be tested.  Once a year, no fuss, no muss.  Uncle Saul did not want to talk about it even in this safe environment, and denied having had sex "since the stone age".  Sort of like a graying teenager.
But I loved this story line for more than the "Sex Talk for Seniors" moment; the show gently reminded us all that HIV/AIDS is still out there, it still demands our attention, and with certain precautions, it is a controllable disease.    I also loved the little bit of Gay History that was thrown in; a reminder that in the not-so-distant past, people had to hide who they were in order to survive, physically and mentally.  That hiding lead to a LOT of unhealthy behavior, least of which was high percentage of alcoholism and drug abuse in the gay community, and most devastatingly, the AIDS epidemic.
It makes me so sad that it's still so unsafe in this world to be who you really are.  So, thanks ABC  for tackling such a subject.  Thank you to all my friends and family, across the sexual spectrum, for being who you are and accepting those you don't even necessarily understand.  Your one voice, your one hug, your one listening ear...it all helps.  And some day, maybe we can all be grownups about sex.