Maybe I Don't Want to Grow Old.....

Today's Sermon: How We Present Ourselves to Others Via Our T-Shirts

This is the sermon I gave at our church today:

What You Say About Yourself…Via Your T-Shirt

Sermon of August 15, 2010

                To know me is to know that I’m a very visual person.  I do like listening to music, tasting fresh tomatoes, the smell of a lilac bush, but I LOVE the things I can see:  paintings, photography, and especially books.  And when I want to communicate my ideas, opinions, thoughts, I choose the written word.  Words are all around me in my daily life—I work in a library, I come home to more books, I write two blogs, I collect political buttons, and our refrigerator is covered with magnets—we have so many, in fact, that they have spilled over on to our metal front door.  My obsession with words doesn’t stop there--you only have to look at my car to see what I mean—I have 5 bumper stickers at the moment:  “Maddow:  Mind over Matter” , “The Bush Legacy:  Leave no child a dime”, “I believe in the separation of church and hate”, one that is a gift from my daughter:  “Buckle up.  It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.”, and the newest, a gift from a friend, that calls Arizona the “papers please” state.  I love bumper stickers so much, I even did a service about them here just a couple of years ago.  But I know my car is going the way of the drive-in movie—toward extinction!  Sigh….

                The Worship Committee kindly approached me about doing a summer service way back in the spring, but it wasn’t until my recent trip to England and Greece that I knew what I wanted as a topic.  And then, of course, what I had in mind for the sermon changed as my trip went on—it’s always that way for me; I learn so much as I plan and write a sermon, that I never completely say what I had originally planned. 

                I was sitting in the airport in Chicago, waiting to board my plane, when I spotted the t-shirt that started it all:  a guy was coming toward me wearing a blue shirt with the letters NRA in gold.  Immediately  I had 3 thoughts: 

1)        The ugly American is alive and well,

2)       I’m going to do my service about how Americans present themselves to the rest of the world through their obnoxious t-shirts,  and

3)       There is NO WAY I want to sit next to that guy on the plane—if the terrorists know what the NRA is, they will shoot him first!

But here’s the thing—I was in Europe for two weeks, and NEVER saw the ugly American—never saw the loud, arrogant, t-shirt wearing, insufferable fellow traveler from the US that I thought I would run into everywhere.  I had experienced such a person all the time when I lived abroad 20 years ago, but now they are as rare as the aforementioned drive-in movie theatre.  20 years ago, I watched Americans swagger through Europe, making loud comments about weird food, strange people, and curious customs of the places they were visiting.  They didn’t try to listen and learn; they were there to conquer--to prove they had money, therefore power, and were not afraid to show it.  But this trip was different; every person had the same tired, resigned look as they shuffled through airport security, there were random acts of kindness every place I went, and the only ones shouting were the vendors and hotel hawkers we encountered as we got off the ferry.   It could be that, traveling with college-aged women, I wasn’t in the places where the rich Americans are stroked and coddled, but I don’t want to believe that.  I want to believe that Americans have experienced some personal growth since 1990!  I did see some t-shirts, but the majority of those in English were worn by teenagers from all over the world, and for the most part had random words emblazoned on the front; no catchy phrases, no declarations of belief.     However, for the sake of this service, I’m happy to report that Americans still DO wear message-bearing t-shirts here at home!

                 

                I was an adolescent in the early 70’s, and my love of t-shirts began as soon as I had a job, and money to buy them.  I fondly remember the distinct smell of the iron-on t-shirt shop in the mall; my friends and I would spend hours going through all the display racks of rock bands, movie stars, cute kittens “hanging in there”, and comic figures who kept on truckin’.  My two favorite shirts were my Sylvester Stallone as “Rocky” (hey, it was a gift from a boyfriend) and my “Women Belong in the House…and the Senate”.

                After I graduated from college, my t-shirt collection dwindled, replaced by work clothes and then mom clothes.  But by the mid 1990s, I was noticing, and purchasing, shirts with words I thought appropriate to communicate to others.  My first favorite t-shirt catalog was Northern Sun, a company still based in Minneapolis.  This is what they say about themselves:  “Northern Sun got its start back in 1979, right before radiation started leaking from the Three Mile Island nuclear plant in Harrisburg, PA (March 28, 1979). Riding a bicycle and carrying a backpack full of t-shirts, etc., Scott (the owner) began selling message-oriented items at anti-nuke events. In 1980, Ronald Reagan was selected President, creating a big demand for anti-war stuff. G W Bush was good for business too.”  I recently visited their catalog on-line, and quickly realized I’m not the only UU who likes them—Unitarian Universalists have their own side link!    

                There’s another on-line site I like:  Cafepress.com.  I’ve purchased t-shirts (like the one I’m wearing) from them, but most of the time I go just to peruse, laugh, and think about the items they have on display.  In fact, I did the majority of my research for this sermon at their site.  And, Fritz Smith has a site there—just type in fritzotic.  What’s cool about Cafepress. com is that you can type in a subject, and they will list all the items they think pertain to that topic.  For instance, type in the word “Religion”, and you get 148,000 items.  They mostly get it right, but sometimes you have to schlup through a lot of “negatives” to get to a “positive”, and vice versa. 

                The thing about wearing a t-shirt with a message is that you really have to OWN the message; it’s your statement, and you literally stand behind it.  Reaction from other people, positive or negative, is immediate, so you really do have to choose your words carefully, considering the full effect on others—are you going for entertainment, thoughtfulness, alienation?  Based on my research, I’ve come up with 3 general categories that I think any given t-shirt might fall into:  (The “I am”, the “Think about it like this”, and the” totally random”. 

The “I am” (or also the “I believe”) shirt; what I think you need to know about me immediately, before we are formally introduced.  In this category, the shirts will present the information in different ways: 

There can be the simple declarative list: 

 “Librarian by day.  Deadly ninja by night.”

 “I’m a right wing, anti-illegal, pro-life, gun owning, straight, white, college educated, politically informed, conservative, Christian male.  Liberals hate me.”

“Libertarian.  Socially liberal.  Fiscally conservative.”

“Yes, I am in the right bathroom”

“Proud member of the vast liberal conspiracy.”

“I am whole perfect strong powerful loving harmonious and happy.”

“Yes, I’m Mexican.  No, I won’t cut your lawn.”

“Straight, Christian, and FOR Gay Rights”

 “BASIC:  Becoming a Soldier in Christ”

“God made me gay.  Unity made me proud.  America made me second class.”

“American Atheist”

“100% Christian and proud of it!”

“That’s MS. Liberal, Pro-Choice, Tree-hugging, Hippie Freak to you, Pal.”

“Underestimate me.  I dare you.”

“Warning:  this homosexual may provoke irrational anger when placed near ignorant, close-minded bigots.”

“I’m NOT a diva.  I’m NOT a brat.  I’m NOT a princess.  I’m a smart, capable girl.  Get used to it.”

There can be the “we might have something in common”: 

“We are all related”

“Christian since ____________ (various years to choose from)”

“I love Mormon girls”, “I love my mommies”, “I love my gay uncle”,  

“We are all on the path, precisely where we need to be.”

“BFF JC and Me”

“Unitarian Universalist Christian”  also, “Jewnitarian Jewniversalist”

“I only date Republicans”

“Come out, come out Atheists wherever you are.”

“Republicans scare me”

“Yes, we can!”  [drawing of Rosie the Riveter, Michelle Obama, or Barack Obama, all flexing their muscle]

“Why yes, I’d love to engage in a conversation about feminism with you.”

“I have faith God loves America”

“Republican chick”

“I was Pagan in my last life too.”

“GOP:  girlfriend of Palin”

“Gay friendly”

for a kid:  “I have inherent worth and dignity, and I’m as cute as all get out.”

 Or, they can be provocative (depending on who is viewing your shirted statement):

“My goddess gave birth to your God”,

“Tree hugging dirt worshipper”

“His cross.  My shield.  Better than health insurance.”

“What you believe is NOT the problem. What YOU believe I should believe is the problem.”

“Jesus loves you…but I’m his favorite.”

“My god doesn’t do hate.”

“God loves us….just ask her.”

“I doubt it.”

“Good without God,”

“I can’t even think straight”

“Pardon me, but your religion is not my law”

“God loves you”

“Keep your rosaries away from my ovaries.”

“If God doesn’t like the way I live, let Him tell me, not you.”

The second type of t-shirt is the “Think about it like this”.  Yes, it’s an order, because after all, you are reading the  shirt:

        “One nation, Under God”

        “Jesus is coming.  Look busy.”

        “Gender bender”

        “Kill a priest”

        “They say I said WHAT????”—this shirt is accompanied by a picture of a surprised Jesus

        “What have you done for Karma today?”

        “Gay rights are human rights.”

        “God is not a falsifiable theory”

        “We went to Iowa and all I got was this fabulous husband”

        “Sin stinks and God won’t hold his breath forever”

        “If the embryo you save is gay, will you still fight for its’ rights?”

        “Two things every American should know how to use (photos of a handgun and a Bible)…neither of which are      taught in school.”

        “Eve was framed.”

        “A woman’s heart should be so lost in God, a man has to be seeking Him in order to find her.”

        “Unitarians are good, for nothing.”

        “Got land?  Thank an Indian.”

There is a special category in the “Think about it like this”; I call it the misrepresentation of a historical quote shirt.  Poor Thomas Jefferson is probably the most misunderstood and misquoted of all historical figures.  Various movements, the Tea Party movement in particular, have embraced his words to justify their actions and beliefs. 

“The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is as a last resort to protect themselves against tyranny in government” and

         “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”

            and

             this Thomas Jefferson quote, perhaps the most famous because Timothy McVeigh wore it the day he bombed the Federal Building in Oklahoma City:  “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” 

And finally,

The totally random shirt:

“Release Judas Iscariot”

“Jesus and US veterans:  The only forces that have ever offered to die for you!”

“As Freud said, ‘Sometimes a clam is just a clam.’”

“I shot Lucifer”

“Dinosaurs are Jesus ponies.”

“Real men love Jesus.  And bacon.”

 And the best random shirt I saw:  “Be a rebel.  Support peace.”  this declaration was accompanied by a drawing of Buddha with Confederate flags. 

I’ve asked you, as you design the shirt, to think about who you want to see this t-shirt?  Teacher?  Boss?  People you are meeting for the first time?  Random people on the street?  OUR NEW MINISTER?    If I were designing my t-shirt, to introduce myself for the first time, it would say this:

“Well behaved women seldom make history.  I read past my bedtime.  Save the earth.  It’s the only planet with chocolate.  The one who tells the stories rules the world.  There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.  Happiness is a cup of tea and a good book.  Life is short.  Read fast!  Feminist and not afraid to say it.  An educated girl can empower a nation.  Love is love.  When do I get to vote on YOUR marriage?  We are everywhere. I don’t mind straight people as long as they act gay in public.  We have an obligation to pass along to our children a more tolerant, a more decent society.  Be the change you wish to see in the world.  Blessed be.”

For All of You Who STILL Think They're SPECIAL Rights

Thank You For Your Call from Shawn Nee / discarted on Vimeo.

Is that the best you've got?

Last night on her show, Rachel Maddow speculated about the reason for the conservative, right-wing's silence on the Prop 8 ruling in California.  With a ruling this big, you would expect everyone from Sarah Palin to Michelle Bachmann to Focus on the Family to be hyperventilating into every available camera in the United States (not just on Faux News).  But the right-wing was surprisingly quiet; a very few weighed in on the decision.  It was interesting to hear the analysis from Rachel and her guest, but I have one additional point to make:  Perhaps they are reluctant to argue with something they know to be true.  I know, I know--this could be the start of something entirely new for them!  But really--if you read the ruling (and I'm making my way through it), you will see that the defense did not have a case.  None at all.  They called 2 "expert" witnesses, but there was no scientific data presented to back up their claims....probably because there isn't any reliable, unbiased data to be found.  
But the silence was troubling.....eerie....a little unnerving..... 
I thought they were also having trouble refuting the ruling because the judge had such solid credentials--Reagan had tried to have him appointed, but Judge Walker was called "too conservative"; George HW Bush finally succeeded in getting him to the bench.  But I was wrong--turns out the supporters of Prop 8 were maybe just having trouble writing statements like this (as maybe they realized how ridiculous they themselves were sounding):

“The ‘trial’ in San Francisco in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger case is a unique, and disturbing, episode in American jurisprudence. Here we have an openly gay (according to the San Francisco Chronicle) federal judge substituting his views for those of the American people and of our Founding Fathers who I promise you would be shocked by courts that imagine they have the right to put gay marriage in our Constitution. We call on the Supreme Court and Congress to protect the people’s right to vote for marriage,” stated Maggie Gallagher, Chairman of the Board of NOM.

First of all, I think the Founding Fathers would be more appalled that we would even consider putting the rights of minorities up for a vote....but I digress....

IF YOU FOLLOW Maggie Gallagher's logic, that a "gay judge" (please, please note that Judge Walker's sexuality has not been verified, nor should it be) cannot be trusted to rule about marriage equality for "gay people", then.......

• Men should not be allowed to rule in cases involving other men,
• Christians can not rule on cases involving other Christians,
• Pet owners should not sit on juries of cases involving animal cruelty......

I could go on and on and on, because Gallagher's statement was just so....so...silly....but I won't.  Perhaps Gallagher watched too much "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", in which gay men were the ultimate judges on what a straight male should look like (they were usually right), how his dwelling should be decorated, and what he should eat? 
Following this logic, we all need to carry ID cards, detailing our bedroom activities, to jury duty, to work, to vote.  I really cannot wait to be required to vote for those who list their sexuality as "heterosexual" on the ballot--I mean, a heterosexual cannot possibly be trusted to be impartial about another heterosexual..... 

But ultimately, I'm just left, scratching my head and asking, "Really?  Is that the best you've got?"

Thank You, Judge Walker

Today is a historic day.  US District Chief Judge Vaughn Walker has ruled that California's Prop 8, by denying gays and lesbians the same right to marry that heterosexuals enjoy, violates the United States Constitution.
When minority rights are put to a vote, time and time again these rights are denied.  Rights are usually given to minorities through actions in courts of law, or legislative bodies.  This case was no different, and tonight we celebrate another landmark in civil rights in this country.
Here's the complete ruling:

Thank you to the plaintiffs:  Kristin Perry, Sandra Stier, Paul Katami and Jeffrey Zarrillo; the lawyers:  Ted Olson and David Boies, and all those in California who have worked so hard for marriage equality in their state.  Thank you to all of you, across the sexuality spectrum, who truly believe in justice and equality for all humans.  Love is love is love.