Open Letter to Mother of Octuplets

Dear Ms. Suleman,
I read today, in USA Today, that you're having a bit of trouble finding financial support for your 14 children. According to the article, you lost your publicist and a book deal fell through. You might lose your house to foreclosure. Public opinion is even running against you by a hefty margin, according to a USA Today poll.
I know you're busy with the kids and all, but I suggest you take a moment to Google "pro life organizations" on your computer. Each and every one of these groups will be happy to help in any way they can. After all, they are "pro life", and have spent time picketing clinics to prove it. ProLife.com even invites you to e-mail your story to them, and what a story you have. I will even provide you with a list of my favorites as a place to start. National Right to Life--they might be out on the road, literally, with their obscene signs, but probably check their e-mails frequently. Or call the Eagle Forum and ask to speak to Phyllis Schlafly personally--she's probably working on her latest hate-filled column, but will be glad to take your call. She's "semi-retired", but has experience as a mother and a grandmother, so might even fly out just to give you a break. Another person you might want to contact directly is Randall Terry, leader of Operation Rescue. I'm not sure if he's out of jail, but certainly with all his organization skills, he can get the "troops" scheduled for all those round-the-clock feedings for the next 8 months or so. Then there's the American Life League and "Feminists for Life of America" (a misnomer if I ever heard one)--they'll probably want to sponsor a child.
Perhaps it would be best to move out of California; the state is broke, and while I'm certain all the pro-life citizens will all be mailing checks to you, the state cannot afford to pay any of your medical bills. I suggest you relocate to Alaska--I hear their governor is so pro-life, she's against abortion even in the case of rape.
If all else fails, and I don't believe for a minute that any "pro-life" citizen would let you down, but just in case--go to the nearest Catholic church (I suggest a bishop's home or a cardinal's residence) and tell them you're ready to move in. They will welcome you with open arms.