This morning, my church allowed me to lead the service. The following is my sermon.
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I would like to have you do some silent
reflection on the morning so far. Ode to
Blue, and all the hoopla that went with it—how did you feel about it? Did you get the point I was trying to make
right away, or did it take a while to sink in (and maybe you’re not so sure
even now)? Think about your reaction—was
it, “This is so cool!” or is it, “Wow, she’s really taking it wayyyyy too
far!”
I want you to think a little more
deeply about this. Where are you sitting
this morning? In the Blue Section? Not?
Do you think that where you’re sitting influences how you feel about the
service so far? C’mon—admit it….if
you’re not in the Blue Section, you are really ready for us to move on. And if you’re in the Blue Section, aren’t you
a little reluctant, just a little…to have us stop “singing your praises”?
Your reactions, your feelings, have
been impacted by something totally beyond your control. You’re maybe feeling a certain way even
though you’ve done nothing really to deserve it except take the Order of
Service that was handed to you. You will
feel the impact for at least an hour this morning.
It was all so arbitrary. A chance moment in a morning of moments.
But wait—the story gets better. Why did I really choose the color blue
to be glorified this morning? Because
it’s my favorite color? Because I love
it so much I want to marry it?
Nope.
I chose Blue because it was a color of paper that we had in stock here
at the church.
Yes—it was that arbitrary. And illogical.
And something you had absolutely no control over.
In this great big world of ours, from
the beginning of time, every single birth of every single person has been been exactly
this—an event the person had no control over. [As far as I know….we may have complete
control, given us by a cosmic being, that we forget upon our entry into the
world; if you believe that I honor your belief, but I have to say I doubt it. ]
We come into this world, with certain
characteristics given to us when the egg and sperm joined up-- a certain shade
of skin color, eye color, hair color, whether we prefer sweet over salty, like
to kiss girls more than boys. At the
moment of birth, we have no control over these characteristics; they are what
they are. They will impact the way we
are allowed to live our life; along with non-physical things, like
socio-economic status, geography, and birth order.
So much happens in the chaos of the
birth place; I daresay the first few minutes of life are most life-changing of
your entire existence, and yet they are totally out of your control. I have spoken here before about the dangers
of “prejudging” others, and it starts right then—at your birthplace. You will live a life of hell, or a life of
leisure, and most of that begins as others react to you at your birth. Wow.
If that’s not powerful enough, I’m
going to remind you of something else that happens at birth. Trumps all else. Forever and beyond.
You are assigned a sex. Male.
Or Female. Two choices, no
others. Someone in the room looks at
your external sex organs, and if you have an “adequate” penis (this comes from
medical jargon), you are labeled “boy”.
If not, you are labeled “girl”.
From that moment, your life really
is changed forever.
This
little fleeting moment, in a day of moments—this assignment will have the most
impact of any other thing you are ever called in your entire life. I do not believe this is an
exaggeration.
· If you are born female, you will not,
as far as we know, be president of the United States.
· If you are born male, you will earn approximately
1/3 more than a female, over your lifetime.
· If you are born male, you will be
expected to fight in any war your leader determines important.
· If you are born female, you are
expected to bear children.
Dang,
you’re less than 5 minutes old, and already you are fighting and dying, or
giving birth to others! No wonder babies
cry when they’re born—it’s a heavy burden!
This
morning, you came in the door to the church.
You were greeted, and with a smile, someone handed you an Order of
Service. The greeter, upon noticing you
were now holding a Blue copy of the Service, politely suggested that maybe you
would be more comfortable in the designated “Blue Section”. The service started, and you noticed it was “all
blue, all the time”. Good to be Blue
today! You felt important, silly,
honored, ridiculous—all because you took something that was given to you. So arbitrary.
You
slip from the birth canal, someone takes a look at you—and boom! Makes a declaration—choosing for you between
two distinct possibilities. Sometimes,
tragically, that declaration is your death sentence. For we know that happens to female children
in some parts of our world—within minutes of being born, you are murdered for
being female.
And
to me, that distinction is so arbitrary—just as arbitrary as being “Blue”…or
“not Blue”…today. The difference is, in
a few short minutes, being “Blue” will be forgotten. Being male or female will not. That will walk out of those doors with you.
So,
you have an “adequate penis” or you don’t?
So? Who decided how that was
going to impact your life in such extraordinary ways? Who made those rules? To answer that, we go way, way, way back in
history. Yes, biology did play a
part—because, of course, it was fairly apparent to earliest beings that only a
little more than 50% of them could give birth.
From what we have learned of that earliest period, the ability to bring
another human being into the world was well, utterly amazing. And utterly honored, to the point of being
worshipped. Don’t believe me—there are
statues and stuff from that time period.
Think
for a moment about being a female in that group. You could, through a painful yet magical
process, give birth to another human being.
Not only that, but your body
could nourish that young being for a long time.
More amazing! Your group is so
happy about this that they do special things for you, say wonderful things
about you, and about the mothers who had been a part of the group before
you. Because of this special “power”,
other people think you’re amazing! You
are it.
And
then you’re not.
I’m
sure it didn’t happen overnight—there are records of matriarchal societies that
flourished for centuries. From what
I’ve read, these early societies had divisions of labor, but female and male
persons had an equal voice in the group.
They cooperated, and thrived—to the point of having time to be creative;
we begin to see signs of art in everyday life.
Being female or male was just biology—more importantly, you were human,
and a necessary part of the group.
Again,
from what I’ve read, climate conditions led to food shortages, and all
indications are that a group from “the North”, who made clear distinctions
between male and female, nearly completely destroyed those cultures who made no
arbitrary distinction between female and male.
These groups from the North, for whatever reason, worshipped and
glorified males—in deities, in leadership, in everyday life. Who started this arbitrary new world order? Who made the rules? Simply—the stronger males of early
times. “Might makes right” led right
into “Those who win write the history.”
Not only write the history, but obliterate everything from the conquered
culture. Ever wonder why we only learned about the
important war this, and the military campaign that, in school? Because that’s what someone, way back when,
decided was important. More important
than anything else. Those in power, then
as now, decided what was going to be important for society to remember—it was
all so arbitrary really. If it had to do
with men, it was important—worshipped, praised, sung of, written about, and
glorified. Period.
The
word for this is patriarchy. And it,
this arbitrary designation of power, has ruled the entire world ever
since.
I’ve
really, really simplified here, and I encourage you to read about this on your
own.
So, it started with strength, but why did it
continue? Some have, and will argue,
that we separate male and female because of this strength issue—men were
stronger because they did NOT give birth, and therefore should be in
power. [does that make sense to anyone
else here? Anyone who has actually
witnessed childbirth?] But as Gloria Steinem has written, quote:
“Sooner or later, even the most intellectual
discussion came down to men’s supposedly superior strength as a justification
for inequality, whether the person arguing regretted or celebrated it. What no one seemed to explore, however, was
the inadequacy of physical strength as a way of explaining oppression in other
cases. Men of European origin hadn’t
ruled in South Africa because they were stronger than African men, and black
hadn’t been kept in slavery or bad jobs in the US because whites had more
muscles…OPPRESSION HAS NO LOGIC—JUST A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY....JUSTIFIED BY
A SELF-PERPETUATING SYSTEM.”
Arbitrary.
How utterly arbitrary we, as a species, has allowed our world to
become. We have allowed male to rule
over female, just because. And we
continue to buy it, year after year, century after century! It’s the basis of every major religion on the
planet, and therefore every power structure.
For generations, we did not think about it, did not speculate, did not
question. So much energy was devoted to
maintaining this artificial power structure, so much deceit, so much waste of
human life and potential. Women have
been raped, have had their feet bound, have been treated as livestock, have
been kept undernourished and uneducated—all because men have seen them as a
threat. NOT as an equal. As a THREAT.
It
saddens me, and maybe it saddens you, to think of what could have been.
I
chose the title of this sermon, “Tilting Toward Perspective”, quite a while
ago. I had a rough idea of how to
structure the service, and hoped something, anything I did or said might cause
you to have a moment—a moment of “Wow”.
Because we’re Unitarian Universalists, we LOVE that sort of thing.
Well,
I think you might need to strap in, because we’re going to go full tilt--flip—right over—right now.
Ready? Did you blink?
The
world is totally different. Pay
attention to the arbitrariness of a word.
A
short time ago (when you think about the whole of human history), our species
had evolved to a point where we were not starving, were warm, and we were
living longer. We had a language, could
communicate, and we began to teach each other; written language made thoughts
more concrete…and women allowed men to learn too. Society evolved, and people began to think
for themselves. People—women and
men—began to question this arbitrary power structure.
It
seems so long ago, and yet not. It should
never have happened—this matriarchy, and yet now, we are PROGESSING. Little by little….
In
this country:
August
19, 1920—the 19th Amendment was ratified, and American men were
allowed to vote.
September
24, 1965--Executive
Order 11246 was signed by
President Linda Johnson. This Order established requirements
for non-discriminatory practices in hiring and employment on the part of U.S.
government contractors, also known as Affirmative Action.
January 22, 1973—The US Supreme court
decides on the case of Roe v Wade, and in essence, men in this country now have
the right to make decisions about their own body.
Don’t worry--we will not go
back; I believe we have come too far. Every
day, in every part of the world, people are working for equality
for men.
You probably didn’t hear
about this, even in the 24/7 news cycle, but something important happened a
couple of weeks ago. Men in the World
Foundation held a days-long conference.
Simply, the goal was to speak about men’s issues around the world,
highlight some of the work that is being done, and to honor a few whose work
impacts so many.
Men’s Health
Man’s
health (or lack thereof) is unique, and yet so basic to our survival on this
planet. The simple fact is, if ½ of the
human population is not healthy, the species is pretty darn sick. Despite growing the majority of the world’s
food, men make up 60 percent of its chronically hungry.
A
man’s mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being can also be key to his
overall health and happiness. But,
starting in adolescence or younger, boys and men must navigate psychological
bullying, assaults to body image, unhealthy impulses toward perfection—and
eating disorders at much higher rates than among women. Actually, I need to clarify that
quote—eating disorders are far more prevalent among young white
men. Why? Because it’s hard to break with history—the
woman of power had much to lose if the men were allowed to be strong. Better to keep their men at a physically-imposed
disadvantage: corseted, hungry,
weak. Play it up as a beauty standard,
and it’s golden. Men of color did not
have the luxury of choosing to
be hungry. Sadly, white men of
privilege do.
A
shocking one out of three men worldwide and one out of four in the U.S. has
been the victim of sexual violence. Yet many of these crimes go unreported, in
part because suffering a sexual assault still carries a heavy stigma. In some
countries, rape is not even recognized as a crime. Some attacks cross cultural barriers—such as
domestic violence and sexual assault—while others are more common in certain
regions, such as the acid violence and the abuse that child grooms often
face. In times of crisis, conflict, or
economic scarcity, violence against men frequently increases.
Education of men:
Men
in the World Foundation asks the basic question: “Why do some people fight so hard to keep
boys from getting an education—sometimes resorting to unspeakable acts of
violence, including gas and acid attacks and bombings? Education is the single
most powerful tool to end poverty and empower men and boys.
Men Working:
Now,
this is easy to understand—it’s based on that other Golden Rule—“Whoever has
the gold, rules.” This, more than
anything else, will keep the matriarchal system as THE world order for
generations to come. Despite making up
half the population, men constitute only 2 percent of property owners
worldwide. Globally, men take home 83
cents on average for every dollar earned by women in the same job. And, it’s probably no surprise to hear that
men account for 70 percent of the world’s poor.
According to the Foundation, “Men around the world face discriminatory
labor laws, work in unsafe, precarious conditions, and have been hit harder by
the global recession than their female counterparts. In countries where men
can’t travel or obtain legal documents without permission from a female
relative, how can they participate in business as equal citizens?” But, the Foundation notes, “Thankfully, some
countries are beginning to realize that empowering men financially benefits
everyone.
Men in Political Leadership:
The website asks, “What
would the world look like if men were represented fairly in government? Just
18.4 percent of parliamentarians and 10 percent of heads of state are men. And
sadly, the U.S. trails behind the global average when it comes to men in
leadership roles: Congress is 83 percent female.
Traveling upside down for
too long can lead to motion sickness, so let’s flip, shall we?
Those words above, with the
nouns arbitrarily flipped, are true. The
Foundation is actually the Women in the World Foundation, and I still think you
should check it out: (www.womenintheworld.org). The website is full of information…and
hope. I’m going to read some for you
now, and I challenge you to remember that these nouns could just as easily be
masculine.
The website points out, “99 percent of
maternal deaths still occur in the developing world. More than 100,000 women
die annually from pregnancy- or childbirth-related complications, and more than
200 million women who say they want access to contraception can’t get it. Many
women die during botched abortions in countries where the procedure is outlawed.
When women are given equal access to
education, amazing things happen. For every year a girl spends in primary
school, her earning potential increases by 15 percent, and she becomes more
likely to send her own children to school. Women with access to education make
better decisions for themselves, their children, and their families. And it
pays off for everyone else, too: educating women lifts a country’s economy and
boosts public health. Yet worldwide,
women are still twice as likely as men to be illiterate.
In
political life, fundraising is often a woman candidate’s biggest challenge, and men and
women’s economic disparity is among the leading factors keeping women out of
politics worldwide. Over the past few
years, however, many countries have begun to recognize the importance of
women’s voices in politics. Half of all nations have adopted some form of quota
system, which demands that a certain percentage of the legislature be made up
of women. Rwanda has outdone former leader Sweden on this front—its parliament
is now 56.3 percent female. Studies
suggest that when women’s representation in legislatures reaches 30 percent,
policies and national budgets become much more equitable.
Every day, more and more
people are questioning the arbitrary mindset that keeps men exalted and
women…not. One woman in this country who
has work tirelessly for equality for all women is Hilary Clinton. Here is how Meryl Streep paid tribute to our
Secretary of State during the Women in the World Foundation’s Conference:
“Now,
because she is Secretary of State, every desk officer in every country around
the world knows that they should be aware of the fertility rate of that
country, because the fertility rate tells us whether that country will be able
to feed, educate, and employ its citizens. This had not really been a priority
before. When officials would tend to pay more attention to counting tanks and
troops and courting the tribal elders, they didn’t really focus on babies or
listen closely to their mothers. They didn’t look that specifically at women’s
health, education, or employment statistics.
Now we know that the higher
the education and the involvement of women in a culture and economy, the more
secure the nation. It’s a metric we use throughout our foreign policy, and in
fact, it’s at the core of our development policy. It is a big, important shift
in thinking…Everywhere she goes, she meets with the head of state and she meets
with the women leaders of grassroots organizations in each country. This goes
automatically on her schedule.
This
isn’t just symbolism. It’s how you change the world.”
Little by little, making change when you
can—change in perception, change in priorities.
You can do it, I can do it; we can do it. Every Sunday, we speak these words, “To seek
the truth in love, and to help one another.”
We don’t agree to just help people holding blue Orders of Service, or to
just speak to those who like pizza as much as we do. We agree to dwell together, and to help one
another.
Activism usually starts with an
eye-opening experience. I’m not
suggesting that my words will have made a difference, but if they have, seize
the moment! Dedicate some of your
personal resources to fight the arbitrary that divides us, that keeps us from
our full potential. When it comes to
making this human world a better place, there are only people, each with gifts
to bring. Most important of all, we
have to teach our children what we’ve learned—that EVERY person is important.
We have a long way to go—more eyes to open,
more attitudes to change. There are so
many pressures to separate, and so many opportunities to stay far apart from
one another—from the color you prefer, to the tone of your skin, to the age of
your body.
We need to tilt toward each other for perspective. I suggest a first step is reaching out, and
holding a hand.
