Rant from the Library

Actually, I am not a librarian.  I work in a library, but have not put in the hours of training and/or class time to become one.  I know some parts of the Dewey Decimal System, but doesn't everyone?
I do work at the Circulation Desk, checking things in and out for patrons.  It feels a lot like doing laundry; you check something in, and within a day, it seems like it's going out again.  But that's job security too.  For the most part, I like the job--I get to scrutinize a lot of great books, CDs, and DVDs, and I meet some interesting people from all over the world (thanks to thriving International Student community of the local university).
However, a select group of patrons can really ruin the day, very quickly.  These are the patrons who SWEAR to you that they REALLY DID return that book, DVD, whatever ON TIME.  They will point in the direction of the nearest drop box, as if that gesture will allow me to personally experience the moment when they dropped the item into the drop box.  Then they look accusingly at me, as if I keep a box of items back in some secret place, just to personally screw with their account--like there's some library "stash" of items we will never, ever check in--not today, not ever.  BECAUSE IT COULD NOT BE THEIR FAULT!!!
Oh sure, we make mistakes--more than a few, I'm sorry to admit.  We allow items to get back on the shelves without being checked in.  We willingly look for items, if you contact us, and will apologize and adjust your account if we've made a mistake.  Yes, we will apologize.
That rarely happens if it's the other way around.
Case in point:  Mr. Professor (I do know his profession) came up to the counter, 5 minutes before closing, on a recent day.  He wanted to check out a number (20) of items for his beloved granddaughter, who was in tow.  I looked at his account, and saw that he owed us over.. let's say $20, because of an item he had not returned for over 3 months.  He proceeded to tell me that he had indeed returned the item ON TIME in that dropbox outside, and we must have lost it in the 5 feet from dropbox to check-in station.  Yes indeed, it must be our fault, even though (as I looked at the notes on his record) three staff members had, on separate occasions, looked for the book, and it was nowhere to be found.  I offered (it's now 3 minutes to closing and a line is forming) to go and look again, and he assured me he had just looked, and the book was not on the shelf.  Yet it remained our fault because he had returned that book in that dropbox ON TIME.  And no, he was not going to pay for the book because, of course, this was all our fault.  Now I'm feeling guilty because:  1) He's got to be right and we must have screwed up, even though I trust that my 3 co-workers know how to look for a book in the library, and 2) I am going to have to refuse to check out anything for him and his very cute granddaughter.  Yes, I suck.  And everyone behind him, who had to wait, thinks I suck too, because they had to wait, and are convinced that of course he is right.
Now here's the kicker--the VERY NEXT DAY, the book is returned to the library by Mr. Professor.  I'm sure he dropped it into his beloved dropbox, because if he returned it inside, he might actually encounter one of the four staff members whose qualifications he's called into question for the past 3 months.  Without saying anything, he will have to admit it was his fault.  But he will never apologize.  They never do.
I'm just glad the damn book is back, so other patrons can enjoy it.
Here's a reminder to those of us of the human race:  "Be kind to one another."  Especially to those in the service industry.  Most of the time, they are only doing what their boss has told them to do.
And, on behalf of those who work in a public library, a couple of reminders:
1)  We loan things for free.  Lots of cool things you do not have to pay for, but are free to possess for a logical period of time.
2)  If you return things late, we may have to penalize you.  Because someone else may be waiting for that item; may need it for a class, a project, or just to enjoy in their own home.
3)  We also assess these penalties because we get no federal funding, no state funding, and because locally, people complain their taxes are too high.  These penalties add approximately $25,000 to our budget every year--money we use to buy more books, CDs, and DVDs.  More stuff for you to enjoy.
4) We, the people who work at the Circulation Desk, do not make the rules.  Our Board sets the fine policy (and that's not an easy decision for them to make, as they are patrons too). Please do not yell at us.  It's not our fault that you returned something late, and not up to us how much to charge you.
5)  Likewise, please do not yell at us because an item is not in the library.  We have no control over when it will be returned.  We also have no extra money in our budget to buy another copy.

If you are one of the vast majority of really pleasant people I deal with every day, I thank you.  Thank you for treating other humans with kindness.  I really do appreciate it.
And remember, your local library would appreciate donations of books, CDs, and DVDs that you're no longer using.  It's recycling perfected.