Well, I'm Not Sure....

After 6 gay American teenagers in the past 6 weeks committed suicide, a collective cry was heard--for the tragic loss of all these young lives.  Who knows what these kids could have contributed for our society, had they lived long enough?
In reaction to these tragedies, an on-line project was launched; its message was simple:  "It gets better."  There have been many eloquent, touching, heart-felt videos posted on this YouTube site:
http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject#p/f/62/XnDPmOsxDs0
I've watched some; I've cried a little, I've laughed, but most of all, I've applauded the courage and the optimism of these adults, as they try to give hope to young gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender teens.

But I'm not sure they're right.  I'm not sure it does get better.

I'm sorry to be a cynic, but that's the way it looks to me in 2010 America.  When I was a teenager, I had such hope for this country; I thought my generation would be much more fair, more open, more accepting, and more tolerant than my parents' generation.  I was wrong.  And unfortunately, my generation is now teaching the next generation to be just as intolerant as we are.
Think I'm wrong?  Just where are the little bullies learning their bullying ways?  From big bullies, of course!  Kids aren't born being bigots; they aren't born thinking that difference must always = bad.  They don't come out believing that everyone must worship the same God, have the same color skin, and love the same types of people they love in order to be "good" people.  But boy, do they learn those lessons in a hurry!  Whatever their parents tell them, their church reinforces, and as soon as they can pay attention to television, the leaders of their city, state, and nation are telling them that too.  The venom that is spewed by adults falls directly into the minds of kids--there's no filter; after all, "we're" the ones who know everything!

AND, these little kids learn very quickly that there's a "pecking order" on that playground, and it's no good to be different in any way.
Then, there's the fact that those little bullies grow up to be big bullies, with a lot more power than they ever thought possible.
Don't want to hire that "fag"?  It's legal in 30 states to flat out tell someone they can't work for you because they might be gay.  In 37 states, you have the power to refuse to rent to someone because of their sexual orientation.  Hey big guy--want to protest outside a school with a sign that says, "God Hates Fags"?  Go right ahead--some other bullies might just join you.  Feel like becoming a minister and telling your congregation that homosexuals will burn in Hell?  You will have plenty of Americans shouting "Amen", and then going to their next City Council meeting to parrot those very words--you'll probably get your own television show and a multi-million dollar salary to boot.  Makes you feel all important, doesn't it?  Want to run for office on the platform of "Less Government, except when it comes to those people who want "special rights"?  There's a very big group of people who will send you lots of money and cheer loudly for you at your rallies--that's a real rush for a guy who got his start pushing "sissy" kids into mud puddles, isn't it?

Here's how the cynical me sees life for a gay teenager in America today.  My advice to you is be strong, keep your head down, and hang on to those you can trust.  There IS someone out there who does love you for who you are.    The wider world, beyond your high school, is full of people like you, or who like people like you.  There are actually GROUPS of people like you--really.  Find P-FLAG on the internet, find a local LGBT group--anything--just know you're not alone.  You're going to need that support, because as soon as you graduate from high school, the bullies get bigger.

•  No, you cannot go into the military, you cannot serve your country no matter how much you want to, because you're gay, and "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is still the law of the land.  
• Be careful how you dress and carry yourself at that job interview, because they don't have to hire you. AND, once hired, you can be fired.
• Ditto when looking for an apartment.
• Be careful where you walk at night, where you go to have fun, and where you go to meet people, because those bullies are still out there, except they are stronger and can hit harder.
• I don't have to tell you to choose your church with care, because you already know that--have known it from an early age.  I encourage you to ask around, or head right for the UU Church in town--you'll be welcomed there.  
• Vote, but keep your expectations low.
• Meet someone you're crazy about.  But do not talk about them at work, with your extended family, or when meeting someone in a social setting--then you're "throwing your 'lifestyle' in their face".  And for god's sakes, do NOT ever, ever, ever touch your partner in front of them.  Ever.  
• Fall in love, but it's not likely you will be allowed to marry.  Even if your state allows it, the federal government will not recognize it.  And, people will still feel compelled to yell, "Dyke!" out their car window at you.    
• Move in with your partner, but do not expect to be able to get joint health insurance, car insurance, and your life insurance proceeds will cost your partner a ton of money in inheritance taxes.  
• Don't expect to be allowed to adopt children.  And if you're lucky to have kids some day, there's a whole 'nother set of problems as you deal with parents and other kids who think your family is weird...at best.
• If your partner is hospitalized, do not expect to be able to make decisions for them...if you're allowed to see them at all.
• DO expect your local fellow citizens to quote scripture, be crude and offensive, and still spew all the venom you heard in high school...at any and all local government meetings.  They don't want to know you--you make them uncomfortable.  YOU are expected to remain polite and soft-spoken--otherwise, you will be threatening them, and they will then be "allowed" to hit you.  
• Then, when you die, your partner gets the shaft:
  http://www.workforce.com/section/benefits-compensation/feature/gay-couples-navigate-steep-retirement-challenges/index.html

In spite of all this "advice", I encourage you to be yourself....always.  It might not get better, but you'll get stronger, and more brave, and you will savor those moments when you're loved for who you are.  Remember, my LGBT friend, you have been given a rare gift: you are aware, and therefore appreciate, when "it's all good".

You Should Know This About Donn Brown

I really want to send this as a Letter to the Editor to our local newspaper; I think people in District 27 deserve to know about the Republican candidate.  But I'm afraid to; I'm afraid of repercussions from Donn Brown or his friends.  It's a very sad day in America when a citizen is afraid to speak out against another; it's sad that our civil discourse as sunk so low.
If I could, I would write the following:
"To the Editor:
I would like to issue a “voter beware” for those in District 27. First, a disclaimer—I do not vote in District 27, and am asking you consider what I say as a cautionary tale.
I first “met” Donn Brown in April 2007, when I sat next to him at a speech I attended at Purdue University. I have attended a lot of public events, and have held public office. But I have never, ever encountered what I did that night, sitting next to Mr. Brown. He heckled the speaker, not once, but twice—standing up and shouting things. The second time he disrupted the speech, I politely asked him to sit down, pointing out that it was not his turn to speak. He threatened me, asking if I wanted to step outside.    
The next time I "met" Mr. Brown, he was the head of Citizens in Action, the local Tea Party group.  The group had organized 2 "Question and Answer" forums about the Health Care Reform bill that was being debated  in Washington.   I had expected the sessions to be one-sided, but was taken aback by Mr. Brown's complete control of the microphone.  Each forum opened with Mr. Brown "lecturing" for 30-45 minutes, followed by a number of speakers who supported his positions completely.  There was no real "discussion" of the issues, and facts about the bill were few.  At the first forum, I attempted to tell of my experiences with the British Health Care System.  He cut me off, and it wasn't until later in the "Q & A", when a woman directed a question to me, that I was "allowed" to finish.  At the second forum, Mr. Brown made it clear that I could speak, but I would not be allowed to use his microphone--this in a room of over 200 people.  I'm not even sure he heard me, let alone others in the room.  
Contrast this with incumbent Sheila Klinker--every time I see her, she greets me by name, asks about my family, and listens.  It's not just me--I've seen her do it over and over and over again, with anybody who approaches her.
Voters in District 27, I ask you to think about this before you cast your vote:  If Donn Brown will not even listen to you, how do you expect him to represent you?"

By the way, here's a link to the article about the lecture I attended at Purdue--Mr. Brown is identified by name.
http://www.purdueexponent.org/index.php?module=article&story_id=5404