So I have officially started my vacation--the first I've had (aside from long weekend roadtrips) for a while. I'm at my wonderful sister's fabulous lakefront home in Iowa. It's beautiful here--has all the nature I love and need--water and...well, water. Every once in a while, I have to have water--to swim in, to sit by, and to listen to. There's something very calming and soothing about water lapping the shore.
I am enjoying the stretch of time with nothing on the agenda, and yet it's unsettling to have no timetables, no schedule, no nothing. It's taken me a while to relax and just be. I still find myself wondering what time it is, when in fact it doesn't matter at all. Yesterday was cloudy and cool, so we stayed inside and watched 2--yes---2 movies. And I read. I also spent a great deal of time trying to take photos of the cool birds they get at their feeders. It was bliss. Really. Then we finished the day with wonderful food and wine.
However, there is some weirdness in this bliss. Karen isn't here. I miss her, and I miss the relaxation that I really enjoy with her. In fact, nobody from my immediate family is here, and that's very weird too. If Erika or Peter were here, I would worry about entertaining them, making sure they were eating, and all those things a mom always worries about. But I don't have them here with me, so all I'm worrying about is myself, and that's weird. It has taken some getting used to, but I think I'm almost there.
I haven't sat and thought deep thoughts or solved the problems of the world in my mind. My mind is switched off, sort of--yesterday I just sat on the dock and wondered how long I could keep my feet in the water without getting bored. The answer is a very long time.
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