We've all been reading about pirates this week--not the cute, cuddly Jack Sparrow kind of pirate, but Somali pirates who took the American captain of a container ship hostage. Seems it's quite the lucrative job to be a pirate in Somalia--most shipping companies would rather pay the ransom than negotiate with the pirates who take over their ships. In 2008, pirates seized approximately 100 ships around the Gulf of Aden--most were released when the ransom was paid, but a number were taken over by the pirates--to be used as pirate ships, or because the cargo they were carrying was valuable to the pirates (I suppose ships carrying weapons are high on the "to be kept" list). The ransoms paid by the shipping companies allow the pirates to live quite well in Somalia--I'm not sure that these pirates are the Robin Hood types, that steal from the rich and give to the poor. If they were, they probably would have allowed the American container ship to pass--it was carrying relief supplies to Kenya.
Here's what I DON'T understand about the success of these pirates--how do the pirates, who typically number less than 10, take over a huge container ship or tanker??? Supposedly the American container ship had a crew of 18, and were trained to deal with pirates, and yet the pirates (there were about 5 of them) not only boarded the ship but took the captain hostage. How does this happen? Say you're a crew member of a huge ship. You are approaching the Gulf of Aden, and you know there are pirates in the area. How does a little, teeny, tiny, little boat get anywhere near enough to board your enormous ship? How??? I've heard that shipping companies do not want their crews to carry weapons on board, I've heard that crew members have put barbed wire around their ships in an effort to deter pirates, I've heard that crew members are never sure which little boats are fishing boats, so do not want to be unnecessarily hostile, and I've heard that ransoms are upwards of $1 million, but I've not heard any sensible solutions to the problem of pirates.
So here's my suggestion--shipping companies are allowed to use my idea, free of charge. If they do decide to pay me, I think $1 million is a fair price for brilliance. Are you ready for the solution?? Water cannons.
Yes, water cannons. You've seen them at Sea World,
and at your local water park. Of course, the water cannons I'm proposing are larger and pack more of a "wallop". So say you're on a large tanker. You spot a little, teeny, tiny, teeny boat fast approaching. You're not sure if it's pirates or a fishing boat, but you really don't have to worry because you're not going to hurt the people in the boat--you're just going to get them very, very wet. You shout a warning, "Hey you!!! Stay away!" They repond, "Aargh!!" Oh ho! Pirates. You turn on the water cannon (it uses water pumped from the sea), and you blast that little boat of pirates. They get wet, and pitched from their boat. You yell, "Full speed ahead," and while they are still swimming back to their boat, you and the huge ship you're on get away safely. No blood is shed, no real harm done, and you've just saved the shipping company over $1 million in ransom money. The pirates get a free bath, as does their boat.
Where, do you ask, do the shipping companies find personnel trained in the art of water cannon firing? I suggest they send their recruiters to the local water park.
But seriously, I do think water cannons are the weapons of the future in the fight against pirates.
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