The Road

First of all, I just want to say that I'm glad I do not have to travel my road all alone--I am joined by the wonderful woman, Karen.  The road twists and turns, but we seem to travel it well together. When it gets too dark on the road, Karen keeps me going.
Last week, I had a no-good-very-very-bad day.  A really dark one.  It happened in moments, just after I signed on to the internet in the morning.  Opened Facebook to see this comment on a video about racism that I shared:  "This is BS."  I felt like I had been socked in the gut.  Then I opened the comment section to this article.
Through tears, I wrote this in the Comment section of the article:  "Today, I just can't do it. Only a couple hours into it, and I've already had my fill of people being mean to other human beings for no good reason at all. Call it racism, homophobia, or just being so full of vitriol that it spews all over everyone else, I'm sick of it.
Unless you are a rich, white, heterosexual man, at some point in your life you have been discriminated against. And it's the worst feeling in the world. Think back to that time, and then ask yourself: would putting this amendment INTO the Indiana State Constitution make this world a better one? Or would it just tell our children, and our children's children, that yes, it IS all right to discriminate.
And, in telling them that, I hope you are ready to live with the consequences. Because next, they may come after YOU, and "your kind"."  I wrote a similar post on my Facebook wall. 
At that moment, I felt I had no more to give.  I had taken the "high road", had tried to treat others as I  want to be treated, and in return, I had been yelled at, had been accused of  not really understanding "X Y and Z" because I hadn't really had "a life" (boy, was that an assumption!), and felt the pity of so many people for my "gross naivete". 
With one arm, I held back the dark thoughts, and with the other, I got ready for work.  And something really good happened--one person, then another, and another...said something positive to me.  Just little things--one person even made me laugh out loud.  And then there was Karen, with her words of support.  Love.  Tears.  Laughter.  Life. 

I've thought a lot about that day, and the subsequent days... 
I'm afraid.  I'm afraid that the exact same things that happened that day will happen again.  In fact, I am certain they will.  We are all flawed beings, with prejudices and opinions, short tempers and difficult lives.  We lash out at those we love, and those we hate--often with the same vehemence.
But I want it to stop.  I want it to stop NOW. 
Why?  Because we owe it to the future.  Perhaps we even owe it to the past--to good people who died before they could do everything they could to make this a better world. 
Because we NEED to stop it now; we NEED to make this world--the only world we have--a better place for each other.

Because....no matter what else happens in life, we have one certainty--we are going to die. 
And, we don't know what will happen after we die.  Oh sure everyone--from the Pope to the Dalai Lama, from the street corner preacher to the head of the local mosque--will try to paint you a lovely picture of the Afterlife, but nobody really knows what's going to happen after we die.  Could be there's more, but again, no guarantees.
What we have left is this--this moment we are now living.  And, as every motivational speaker will tell you, this moment is the one we need to make the most of.  We all need to do all we can to make THIS world, in THIS moment, a better place.  We need to forget about what "that other person" is doing, and do what we know is the right thing.  And, we need to be honest with ourselves, need to question if what we are doing to another person is fair, just, and loving.
We've all been told, from a young age, to remember the Golden Rule: "You should treat others the way you would like to be treated.".  It's a rule, but also a spoken hope, passed from generation to generation, across cultures.  It's almost a universal "agreement":  When you walk on this earth, treat others the way you want to be treated.  Not because of some reward that comes after you die, but because it's the right thing to do

Most of us have experienced the tragedy of someone dying "way too soon".  The person was two months old, two years old, 50 years old--but they died way before their "time". I've had friends who have died too soon.  When one friend in particular died, I told myself I would try very hard to be as good a person as she was.  I wanted to try to live my life so that at the end, I would know I did right by the people in my life, and did the very best I could for the people who lived in my neighborhood, community, state, country, and world.  A tall order, and I have often failed.  But as I get older, I find myself trying harder.

In conclusion, I have a couple of declarations:

1. Thou shalt not "flame" on my Facebook wall.  If you make an inflammatory comment, I will hunt you down and make you talk to me until we reach some understanding.
2. Thou shalt NOT, if thou is Caucasian, declare racism is "over".  You cannot decide that if you are a white person.  I'm saying this nicely now, but the next time I have to say it, I will not be as polite.
3.  We shalt try to communicate and understand each other.  It's harder to hate someone if you know them.
4. Thou shalt not presume.  If you don't know absolutely all there is to know about someone, how about asking them, rather than assuming you know all about their lives.
5. Thou shalt be thanked for being my friend.  I love you.  Thank you for putting up with me.